Anyone have any good jokes?

Question

Jokes that will give you a good laugh.

Answer 1

Three pregnant women are sitting in a doctor's office knitting sweaters waiting for a checkup.  The first woman pulls a pill out of her purse and swallows it.  The other two ask what that was.

Woman 1: It's a calcium pill.  I want my baby to be born with strong bones.

Woman 2 pulls a pill out of her purse and swallows it.  The other women ask what that was for.

Woman 2: It's an iron pill.  I want my baby to be born with strong muscles.

Shortly after, the third woman pulls a pill out of her purse and swallows it.  The other women ask what that pill was for.

Woman 3: It's a thalidomide pill.  I can't seem to get the darn arms straight on the sweater for the baby.

Answer 2

One day a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 ft below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, but he had on no scuba gear whatsoever.

The diver went below another 20 ft, but the guy joined him a few minutes later.

The diver went down another 25 ft, but minutes later, the same guy joined him.

This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof chalk-and-board set, and wrote, "How the h**l are you able to stay under this deep without equipment?"

The guy took the board and chalk, erased what the diver had written, and wrote, "I'M DROWNING, YOU MORON!!!"  

Answer 3

There was a red head, brunette, and blonde. All three of them were standed on a ship. They had seen land 100 meters away. The red heads swims towards land and she makes it. The brunette goes and makes it. The Blonde starts to swim towards land then at 50 meters she gets tired and swims back to the ship.  

Answer 4

lol