Are my friends actually friends?

Question

I know this sounds a little stupid, but I'm really confused.

When me and my friends hang out, we get along fine. We gossip and have a right laugh. But when it comes to the holidays, they hardly ever text me or phone me. I'm always the one to arrange what were doing. Sometimes I wonder whats going on behind my back...

There's five of us:

Beth: known her for almost 11-12 years ever since I first started school. She's easy to get along with and really kind.

Ruth: known her for 1 and a half years since she moved here from Poland about 2 years ago. Really nice- but always seems to be doing things with her family to do with her religion :S

Charlotte: known her for about 4 years but only started hanging round with her recently. She is kind, but I find it hard to get along with her sometimes.

Emily: lets not even go there. Complete and utter *****. I've hated her for ages. She treats me like ****. I've known her for the same amount of time as Beth. Comes across as an angel. Deep inside, she's far from it.

In the past, I've tried telling Beth about Emily and how I feel about her but she doesn't seem to do anything or say anything to Emily. She just says, "Oh, don't worry. Emily is your friend and really likes you!"

That is rubbish. She hates me. She always trys to go off with Beth which is completely childish.

Some how, I dont feel right talking to Charlotte. She doesn't seem to help. Ruth just thinks everythings going to be ok and I should just forget about it. The problem is, I cant. Beth never listens to me no matter how much I tell her. I've tried telling Emily shes a ***** before but it all just ends up in arguments.

I wish I had better friends. I'm 15 next March. This situation does sound childish, I know. But it's not my fault. If I had my way, I would just be friends with Beth and no one else. Unfortunately, this will never happen. She wants to be friends with Emily too. Theres no one else at school who I fit in with.

Will I ever make new friends as I grow up? Are my friends TRUE friends? Does anyone have any advice? Please help x

Answer 1

No, your friends are not really your friends.  Yes, you will find true friends if you require folks in your life to be friendly.  The problem you face is that brains of young people are still developing and that, plus the fact that kids are often taught that they are valuable only when they are "something" (prettier, smarter, taller, shorter, or something) more than their peers.  That means kids are trying to make themselves feel superior and some do that by putting others down.  That's too bad and it leads to problems with friends who aren't friends.  

Answer 2

I think that you can do better than these bunch of 'friends'. If they are not listening to you, then they obviously dont care about you because its like they are saying '**** her'. The whole thing isnt childish, because you are still young.  I think these girls have it in for you, they are probably planning something behind your back.

Your 13, which isn't too young at all. I was 12 when i told a bunch of so-called friends to **** off, because they treated me like ****, so i got the main courage from my mum. 1 year later they have so much more respect for me.

You will always find people who you will fit in with, even if you don't think you do. Maybe don't try to look so much, and find people that will approach you? Trust me it will come.

BTW, if you lose these bunch of friends, then dont worry if you are by yourself. You'll have to flesh it out for a while, but its better to be by yourself and happy, than to be with people and unhappy.

I know from experience, that people that are better will come along!

im 16 now and happy, i have lots of good friends!