Are you glad you're adopted?

Question

Im not asking about specific details or about your feelings of loss, but in a general sense, do you feel it was right for you? I have met my bmom and found that having her in my life was not neccesary, and I have a wonderful amom who I never doubted to be my "real" mom. So I feel like it was definitly right for me. I just have been reading hese questions on answers and I feel like so many people seem so upset about their situation. Whats your opinion?

Answer 1

Yes. Yes I am!

Answer 2

yes im very glad im adopted...

Answer 3

I feel it was right for me.  It is the only life I've ever known.  I have no idea what it is like, or would have been like not to have been adopted. How can I say my life would have been better or easier had I not been adopted?  I would just have another set of issues to deal with. I was put on a  particular path once my mother gave me up and that path gave me my daughters and husband, friends and family.   For me, any challenges I've had as an adoptee are worth what I've gained.  

Others certainly feel differently and that is their right, but don't let them get you down.  You are entitled to your feelings as much as they are to theirs.

Answer 4

I'm ok with being adopted but I am sad that I was relinquished in the first place.  It is hard to think that I started my life being thought of shamefully or as a problem.  Especially since I am such an all around fabulous person now.

Answer 5

We can never go back - what's done is done.

My adoption didn't 'need' to happen - and I wasn't allowed to know my mother, my father, my 3 full-siblings, my 1 half sibling, my extended bio family.

I love my adoptive family - but I wish that I was allowed to know my bio family - instead of having to search for them when I was 35 years old.

My first mother is a complete mess now - years of not being allowed to grieve & the way her mother & the system treated her have taken a huge toll on her psych.

Would she be this way if things had happened differently??

I don't think so.

I am sad for the losses. It's only now that I have found people that look and act - just like me.

Now I don't feel like such a freak.

Now - I'm finally being able to find out about me - and I personally needed knowledge of my past - together with the life that I lived - to fully work that out.

You seem a little stirred that others feel differently to you - is this really a problem??

You are entitled to feel however you feel.

Please don't negate the feelings of others - for the life that they lived.

I wish you all the very best.

Answer 6

Yes, yes, yes - glad to be reunited with my bmom, glad I know my roots, but more than anything glad to have been adopted and raised by my parents. I know others feel differently, and we should all be able to feel what we feel, but I am thrilled to have been adopted.

Answer 7

i am not adopted but my mom is going to

Answer 8

Hi Briyana,

I think, if given a choice, most people would prefer to be raised within a loving family that is biologically related to them, as opposed to not.  Unless the family is abusive or they have died, there really should not be unnecessary arrangements made in child care.  It's an extra adjustment challenge that children should not have to make unless absolutely necessary.  Thanks for asking.

julie j

reunited adoptee

Answer 9

Yup.... short and to the point.

Answer 10

Well, Briyana, you sound like a disciple for the adoption industry!  Glad losing your family and identity was a beneficial experience for you.

For every ying, there is a yang. You and I feel very different about adoption in America.   No, I am not happy I was adopted. I'm sad that I lost my family, that I was raised with people whom I have nothing in common with, and suffered mightily from gemological bewilderment.

But if you haven't chosen a career yet, maybe you can go  work for an agency, and help separate children from their mothers for a living?

Cheers!

Answer 11

What I wish is that my adopted parents had been my parents

No I wish I had never been adopted.

I don't like being adopted

I dot like what its done to my psyche

I have a massive family and I have been denied them

But I would not have wanted not to have been with my adoptive parents either because i love them so very much.

I HATE Being adopted.  I just hate what it does to me as a person and all the issues it causes for me

Answer 12

I don't know if this has anything to do with your situation, but my dad adopted me when him and my mom got married, I met my Bfather when I was around 18 and was not impressed and daddy has and always will be the only father/dad of mine. I think that as long as your happy it does not matter where you came from as long as you are loved and nurtured throughout your childhood and life.

Answer 13

You should be glad you are adopted you have no way to know how horrible your life could have been. some adoptees on here have no clue that not all of us are ins some sort of great trama every day.  HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO! My mother isn't LOST she gave me away.  I'm not some sort of hansle and gretal wandering in the forest.  SHe gave me a save place.  

Sunny dude, how can I join this awesome little army?

Answer 14

My best friend was adopted. She feels weird sometimes because she is black and her parents are white and people look at them like they arnt a real family. When she was 13 she met her real mom and regreted it. She was a dope head who just wanted money and stuff. She is really happy she got adopted cause her parents have given her and her sister a good life they wouldnt have gotten other wise. =]

Answer 15

There is good and bad with everyone's personal experience.

I, personally would have to say yes, because I feel fornunate to have both my a-family and b-mom in my life.

Answer 16

No I wish I hadn't been adopted.

My aparents were abusive, and threw me back to the system when I was 11.

After I was reunited with my birthmother and found out what an amazing, wonderful woman she is, I have to admit I felt rather hurt. I love her, but I'm still a little upset that she placed me for adoption which denied me from having a good and happy childhood, and that I was denied knowing what an amazing woman she was for all those years.

Answer 17

Im adopted :O!

Answer 18

Personally I am not adopted...however my good friend is and is happy in her life. Loves her adopted parents and would not want it any other way. She knows her mom though and has contact if she wants it (her great aunt and uncle adopted her) but her mom....well lets just say she knows she was not the kind of person who needed to raise a child.

Answer 19

I personally am not adopted but I have 2 cousins and a best friend that gave her son up and from a mom giving up her child it was not easy for her but she knew it was the right decision and she said that her son could not be more happy.  As for my two cousins my aunt could not have children but they both would not change thier opnion about her and they both feel that is thier mother.  I hope that this helps some.

Answer 20

Yes and no.  I don't like  being constantly asked if life was good with my adoptive parents.  What does it matter?  I am denied my rights as an American. An American who has fought for these agencies rights and my natural mothers rights.  I can't have mine.  This is where the no comes in.  Society treats me as property of my adoptive parents.  Here I am a fourty two year old woman.  Adoption ain't the happy happy thing for me.

Answer 21

I dont hate being adopted, I dont regret being adopted.  In fact Im glad and grateful that Im adopted.  What I regret is that I, as an adult,  allowed myself to be reunited with my biological family.  I am glad I met my mother, I am glad I now have medical information which has saved my life.  I wish I had never met and gotten to know my siblings and extended family though.  It isnt genetics but environment and day to day influences that determine who you are.  That is something that I thank the powers that be for, every day of my life.

*Edit*

Yet again thumbs down for making a statement about how I feel about MY LIFE! Im not talking about your life ffs, but mine!

Answer 22

I dont know how to really answer this. I am glad that I have the parents I have today.

As far as glad about being adopted, I wouldnt have known either way what my life was going to be like, mainly because I was a baby when I was adopted. Life has corners and twisty turns, so you never really know whats going to happen, nor can you stop whats going to happen.

I had and have a great life. I couldnt ask for better parents and why I was adopted doesnt interest me anymore. I am reunited with both bios and have an aquaintence with them. That does me just fine. We all know where we stand.

Answer 23

Knowing what I know about my first mother (biofather was out of the picture) - and given the time period (1950s) I would say it was better that I was adopted.

I've had three mothers.  My first mother, my adoptive mother who raised me and died when I was 24, and my stepmom who has been close for the past 30 years - she's my kid's grandma, she was "there" for me during my divorce, starting a new career, singlehood, remarriage....

You don't feel the need to pick one sibling of many to be your "real" sister or brother - pick one, pick none, pick some, pick all.

If you have one or more wonderful mothers - it doesn't matter how they came to be your mother - they are all "real".  Most biokids don't get a chance to make any comparisons.

Answer 24

I wasn't adopted but my cousin was. I'm 100% SO glad she was, and I know she was happy about it too. No one ever considers her anything less than a full cousin, blood or not, and we all love her very much. I feel sad for anyone who ended up in an unhappy situation regarding their adoption - this is one case where it worked out wonderfully. A friend also had an adopted sister and she was completely loved and cared for as well - she too was happy to be in a loving family where she was 100% wanted and treated as a blood-daughter. Another friend of mine had an adopted Cree sister and she is SO great and her whole family adores her as well. None of these families outright say "my adopted sister" and I sometimes found out only years later about the adopted bit simply because family was family to them, not something they would think about mentioning all the time.

I'm glad to hear it worked out for you as well!

And sometimes it's good to keep in mind that as teenagers, we're all unhappy with our parents regardless about being adopted - many will come around afterwards hopefully, of course if the situation isn't truly horrible. (And sadly, sometimes people just don't get along with their families period.) It's always heartbreaking to hear of people being adopted by people that shouldn't have adopted, but so far I've personally heard of way more happy cases than sad.

(And to all those who are giving thumbs down to all those who were adopted and HAPPY - get a life! What a sad life you must all have to be angry that others are happy with their adoptive parents.)

Answer 25

I do think that a lot of times questions regarding how one "feels" about being adopted are far too simplistic, considering how complex adoption is.  

However, I will try to answer in a very general manner.  What I really believe is "right" is for people to be able to properly raise their own children.  So, I guess what I believe is "right" would be a perfect world, where everyone would be able and willing to do this.  

The fact that I love my amom and she was always a "real" mom to me doesn't negate the complexities of adoption.  It doesn't negate that my natural parents are "real" parents, too.  They are all parents who have had different roles in my life.  I have a wonderful reunion and am very happy to have my adad in my life.  Is he a necessary part of my life?  For conception purposes, yes.  In order for me to survive now?  No, but neither was the particular woman who became my amom, if phrased the way you've phrased it here.  After all, someone else could have picked up the role and been my amother, and possibly have been very good at it.  Heck, the particular man who become my husband is not necessary, either, then according to this thinking.  Some other man could have become my husband.  Do you see where this goes?

I'm not into this idea of people "replacing" one another.  These people are all my family.  They all have a role in my life that means something to me.  None of them can be replaced.