Are you honest with your kids.......?

Question

when they are going to the doctors office or ER?

When my kids have to go to the doctors office and we are not sure what procedures may be involved and they ASK us if they have to get a shot we always tell them it is a possibility, then they ask if it will hurt and we tell them yes, it will hurt for a bit.

My mom always used to tell me I wouldn't have to get shots, and then I did or that they wouldn't hurt, and then they did. It always ticked me off.

So do you tell it like is or do you avoid the questions or do you lie?

Answer 1

With my sons first shots (that he remembers), I lied.  He asked if he was getting a shot, I said "I'm not sure." or the like.

I also told him it wouldn't hurt.  The reason for that is, if a kid knows it will hurt, they will tense up their muscles during the jab.  And, you should know, that's not good.

Answer 2

I tend to tell it like it may happen.  My two year old went with me to take my two month old to be examined for a second opinion on torticollis.  He asked if sister was going to get shots because he remembered getting shots at the doctor a couple months ago.  I told him probably not but she may cry a lot because the doctor will move her neck around and her neck is sore.  He seemed ok with that answer.  I believe in being honest and age appropriate with my answers for all things but I never believe in telling them a lie or overly sugar coating it.  

If he had a broken bone I won't tell him they are going to yank him around and reset the bone and it will hurt like h**l.  I would tell him that it's going to be uncomfortable and it will hurt, but that the doctor will give him medicine to make it not hurt as bad and that he will get a nice ice cream sundae afterwards.

Answer 3

Yep - always honest about what we know or what we might not know.  I want to help them learn how to deal with the unpleasant things in life, so we take the unchangeable opportunity to do so, when it comes up.  Then, help them find their own coping strategies.  

It was the opposite, really, when I was a kid.  My older brothers & sisters would tease that I was going to get a shot, every time that I went to the doctor.  That had the effect of making me feel scared the whole time, even when it wasn't warranted.

Answer 4

Your doing the right thing 100%!!! If you lie to your child they will never trust or respect you when it matters the most. I always tell my kids the truth even when it is not what they want to hear and they have come to love and respect me for doing just that. Keep it up!!

Answer 5

You are doing it very right. We are honest to our children - yes we do spill it at the last minute that they might get a shot because preparing them beforehand makes them chaotic. All in all, we emphasis on being truthful. Afterall, we are the role models in their life, right?

Answer 6

I think you do it the right way. You tell the truth, but you downplay it so that is isn't a big deal.

My mom use to be too honest about that stuff. She would always jokingly poke me with her finger nail and say, "alcohol shot!" and tease me about how bad it would hurt. At least when I got my shot, it didn't seem so bad because she made it a huge deal. but I still would have preferred your way.....

simple honesty. good job mom. :D hehe.

Answer 7

I try to be as honest as possible. I would much rather them be prepared and upset in the forefront as to be mad at me for "lying" to them in the end. At least then I can still comfort them instead of getting evil looks while they are screaming.. lol.

Answer 8

I'm pretty honest.  I'll admit - if I'm taking my kids for a checkup, and I know they will get a shot - if they ask way ahead of time, I say I'm not sure.  But I do tell them beforehand.  I find if I tell them too far ahead of time, by the time we get into the doctor's office they are hysterical.  So I'm not lying, just putting off til the actual appt to break the news.

I'm honest that if they ask if it hurts, I say yes, but only for a minute or so.  And I never scold them for crying.  thats my pet peeve, when I hear parents saying "stop crying, you're a big boy!"  It hurts and it sucks to get a shot!  So I console them and then "reward" them for being so brave and get them a sticker at the front desk.    :)

Answer 9

I am always honest with stuff like that/ What's the point of lying when they will soon know the truth and then won't trust anything you say? How can a parent build a trusting relationship with their child if they lie to them like that?

Answer 10

I am the same exact way! I don't lie to my children about anything. If they are old enough to ask they are old enough not to get a BS answer. That goes for anything....doctor's, shots, s*x and drugs! I feel it is important to be as truthful as possible and not sugarcoat things.

Answer 11

I have no choice but to spring those kinda visits on my kids last minute. We have tried the honesty and they scream and cry and hold themselves to the chair. Refusing to go- to the point of hyperventilating.

Now, if I have to pick them up from school, and I know they may have to get blood work.. I mention that in the car. I say, "probably, and no it won't hurt." They use numbing agents on my kids arms before taking blood and they don't feel it. The only thing they freak out over is the blood.

Answer 12

I tell them the truth and prepare them for it.  Like for preparing for a shot I will say yes it will pinch a little like if you poked yourself with a stick.  It gives them something to relate to because they certainly have been poked and bumped, etc many times in their play.  So they know it will hurt a bit but then will go right away.

My parents always used to make up stories to.  I don't know why, I guess just a different parenting style but I agree with you.  I was always sorta POed that they lied to me.  Like I wasn't smart enough to handle the truth or something.

Answer 13

I'm always honest with my children about such things.  

Example:  My oldest daughter cut her head open a few years back when she fell off her bed (she was jumping on it).  I knew she was going to need stitches, so I explained to her that the doctor was going to give her a needle by her cut that would freeze it so that it wouldn't hurt anymore.  Then he was going to take a needle and thread and close up her cut, but that it would feel funny but not hurt because of the first needle.  She seemed to accept that and wasn't scared with the promise of it not hurting after the initial freezing.

Answer 14

i think what your doing is good by telling the truth. if you lie to your child they will not trust you 100% and know that you may be lying to them at anytime, its best to build a healthy relationship with your children with honestly. your their example and your honesty is telling them they need to be honest too.

Answer 15

Well, I'm a phlebotomist, and was trained to always let patients of any age know that it will hurt, but only for a moment, so I always tell my kids the same, it's possible, and yes, it will hurt like a bee sting, but only for a moment.

None of them have a problem with shots, because the calm honesty causes less anxiety than not believing mom when she says "no"

Answer 16

I tell my kids the truth and prepare them for it. My daughter was petrified of shots until I started telling her when she would get them. She seemed less afriad to go to the doctors by just knowing when and when not she would be getting one.