Attending a fine dining restaurant...?

Question

My boyfriend and I are going to eat at a fine dining restaurant. The only thing is I'm a little worried we may stand out. Our knowlegde of fine dining food is very minor, this will actually be our first time eating somewhere high end. To be honest I can't pronounce alot of things on their menu's.

I'm also a little concerned with my appearence. I have nice dress shirts I can wear with some black dress pants but the only thing is I have tattoos on my arms that will show... Think this would matter?

I've been looking at reviews of this restaurant and this is what one woman had to say "The atmosphere was ok. Even though we kept getting glares from the patrons who were wearing sport jackets and diamond necklaces, as if our presence wasn't approved upon."

Any opionons?

Answer 1

I am a former chef and worked many years in the hotel business, and now a days there is not the same formality like back in the 40-50-60's when dining out at a fine dining establishment, I worked in my early years at places that still did the "Silver Service", with white gloves and served at the table.

Only on Cruise ships do they even attempt that now, as for dress "LeatherLunch" is right, a nice outfit is fine, I know places in downtown T.O around the theaters and sporting venues that consider themselfs upscale and you should see some of the outfits in those places. Only something really outragous will get you turned away.

As for ordering, it is more simple today, not many places go to the effort of doing a full "french" menu, look for things you like, chicken, fish, or steak ask for the specials (they are a good bet), if you into eating more than one course like soup/salad/app, main and dessert, ask the waiter if they are large or small portions, in most cases it is the latter. This way your not wasting food.

As far as tipping go, 15% is common and as others have said alot depends on the place and service, some still split tips between the entire waiter staff were each waiter has to pay a small amount to the bus staff and some do it for the host/hostess. You make the call, do not be intimidated it is a fun outing and relax and enjoy the night.

Answer 2

I'm a waiter in fine dining in Toronto, but I was born and raised in Ottawa.

As for your concern regarding being a first timer: don't sweat it.  Most people in the world don't know 80% of the ingredients and culinary terminology on a fine dining menu.  Look at their menu online (assuming they have one online) and see what intrigues you.  If you see a dish with a word like "concasse" or "pancetta"  - do an internet search for it.  The Web is your friend!  Besides that, never feel stupid asking the waiter to explain a dish, and tell them you're not familiar with some of the words.  Seem genuinely curious, but not sheepish, and the waiter will get a small kick out of "educating" you.  Any server worth their salt should be able to guide you though your dining experience, and believe it or not we get some job satisfaction out of making things special for people.

Wear your nicest threads, and don't worry one bit about the tats: most of the service staff probably has ink hidden under their black shirts. Seriously.

And who cares about the other patrons.  Be there to enjoy yourself.  Don't worry about being judged.  After all, you're all paying the same money to be there.

As for the tip: if the service is good (meaning the waiter is friendly and helpful, and seems to have the entire meal organized to arrive in a timely manner, and he tops up you wine and water) then 15% is standard.  Twenty if the service is really great, 10% if it's below average but not terrible.  Less if the experience is frustratingly poor.

Hope this helps.  Have fun! :)

Answer 3

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Answer 4

From someone who is heavily tattooed, I know where you are coming from. Most people would say to ignore the looks, but I understand it can be frustrating/annoying/insulting. If they have a copy of a menu online, you should be all set. The best way to change a stereotype is to prove people wrong. Both of you should give each other a crash course in fine dining lingo. Learn the ways that the food is prepared, look-up pronunciations, and basic table ettiquette. Not only for your self-esteem, but so you don't order something that has been aged for 100 years and cost $2,000. Haha. Lots of high end places don't post the prices or their prices vary. Also, if you have a question on ANYTHING, call the restaurant. It's not like they will know it is you calling and spot you when you eventually show up. I've found that, as long as you act appropriately, dress appropriately... and TIP appropriately... you will be treated likewise. If people stare, just look back and smile. If they keep whispering and staring... flip over your table and show them why tattooed people are so bad! Haha Hope this helped.

P.s. From the review you posted, I would say go somewhere else or stay in and flex your culinary muscles.

Answer 5

I eat out all the time, i live in Las Vegas, where u can find hundreds of fine, top of the line restaurants. U should order appetizer, then the entree, and finally dessert, if u can afford it a bottle of wine, red if u are eating red meat, and white for seafood. Just act with class, but the most important dont forget having a good time...and a decent tip, 20 % for a good service, 25% for an outstanding service.