Azzy how's the 3rd?

Question

Chapter 3

This was the last week of summer before I went back to school so I decided that I needed to some new clothes for the New Year and so I went to the one and only mall in this stupid town. I mean it is the only mall in this town three townships shop here, but at least it’s not crappy and I know crappy I’m a mall rat. I got their at twelve and mom said she’ll pick me up at two so that gave me how ever hours to frolic about. First place I went was this hat store called lids. The worker their was this stick figured girl with a hair color that I never scene before I’ll It’s the color of cat p**p and no b***s to be found (I feel so sorry for her not everyone is blessed like me) She looked over at me through her thick rimmed glasses and said “Can I help you find something?” I looked around the store all the hats were all about the room

“You really don’t have to, I said to her, every thing to look for is on the wall the only person who would need help is if he was blind” The girl looked at me with a blank expression

“Smart mouth”

“I know and I love it” said to her leaving the store. To tell the truth I didn’t want to buy any hats I just wanted to p**s her off. I made my way to Hot Topic my fave store I buy all my T-shirts their. As I was looking around I saw the funniest tee it said Dyslexics are teople poo. “I’m gonna were this write by the special Ed room” I said out loud. This girl who heard me read the shirt.

“That’s not very nice” she said to me

“Who cares they can’t read it and who the heck are you”

“You’re worst nightmare”

“Well you certainly belong in special Ed cause night mares only when you’re sleeping, unless you’re one of those crack dreams cause I had some before I got here” A boy that was next to me started laughing he probably got it but the girl seemed lost “I’m out of here” I said as I walked toward the counter and left. Next to go was Abercrombie and Fitch I looked about through the jeans cause like I said before love their jeans hate every thing else. I found a nice pair “These jeans look like crap”

“What you don’t like them?” I turned around it was that guy from Hot Topic

“Oh no I like them”

“So you like crappy things”

“Let me explain I say c**p if I like it but I say **** if I hate it”

“Well that’s a new one”

“I’m what can I say I’m original watch this” I went over to the cashier

“I heard Abercrombie only hired pretty people is that true”

“Uh duh if you’re ugly you can work at Target”

“And yea if you’re a s**t you can work for playboy.” The girl was a s**t just look at her blond had on a tight shirt that her b***s took up half of and way to much makeup. Yep she’ll be a perfect match for playboy.

“Take these pants please” the Girl started to ring them up

“Could you hurry up I’ve got places to go. Abercrombie isn’t the only store in the mall” She glared at me over the scanner.

“That will be thirty five fifty” I took out my card

“Credit or debit?”

“What do you think?”

“Debit”

“Wrong!” yelled at her “its credit man are you blonds are stupid”

“Now how was I supposed to know…?”

“Stop chatters Barbie and hand one of those complaint slips I wasn’t really happy with my visit.” She thrust a paper and said

“Have a nice day”

“I sure will” I left the store when that boy came after me.

“Can I help you?” I said to him

“You sure can that was so awesome what you did to Monica?”

“Who?”

“Monica the girl in their she’s the bitchiest ***** I know”

“Wow that’s a whole lot of ***** for one girl”

“Yea and I have to live with it she’s my freaking sister”

“Wow I feel so sorry for you”

“You live around here?”

”Yea in this place called maple acres”

“I saw that they have some nice homes, I guess that means your going to St. Catharine High”

“Yup where do you go?”

“St. Cat”

“Cool maybe we could hang out”

“Totally and hide you from my so you don’t get murdered”

“You mean she goes there to?”

“Uh-huh”

“Senior?”

“Same as me junior were twins.”

“Aw man”

“What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong when I do my playboy comebacks I never see them again, but now it’s a ninety nine percent chance that all see her again”

“Relax you got me”

“Really”

“Yea” I looked in to these crystal blue eyes boy were they beautiful and boy was the face they were on stripped form the Abercrombie catalog since all the ugly people work at target. My phone buzzed in my pocket it was my mom.

“I got to go”

“See ya I walked toward the exit I couldn’t wait to go to school and see….. Aw man I don’t know his name why don’t I think of these thing sooner.

Answer 1

umm... i personally thought it was pretty bad. i really didnt like it at all. no offense meant, but you're the one who posted it. heres why:

*It is pretty pointless, as far as i can tell its just an excuse to brag about your b***s and how clever you are and make yourself look cool.

*it is confusing, hard to follow, poorly written, and has extremely bad grammar.

* it jumps around from one store to another with no transitions, and i was confused the whole time.

* i couldnt ever figure out who it was talking.

* the protagonist ("you") really didnt seem like a very good guy, which makes it hard to like the story, as it's told in first person.

*it is rushed and hurried

dont get me wrong, it probably took a lot of work to write, it jsut needs a little more.

Answer 2

*sigh* you're = you are.

so i think you mean 'YOUR worst nightmare'