Baby mama!!!?

Question

so there is this woman that supposely has a child with my fiance...the child is 4 and she wont give him a praternity test...she disrespected me a couple times over the phone when she called and as a result my fiance stopped talking to her and doesn't talk to his son...not because he doesnt want to but because shes dangerous due to the fact that shes in a gang and all that...i feel bad and he does too but she was the one that messed up...she has another child with another man...i can't help to feel bad...how to help my fiance...it stresses him and me out alot because he has to pay alot of money for a baby that might not be his...how to help!!!

Answer 1

The first thing I noticed that was an excellent sign is your willingness to help your fiancee. Good will surely come out of this alone. Speaking from experience, I think that when you both decided to keep communication to a minimal, this was a good decision. I think that you need to encourage him to invest in a paternity test. This will save you alot of hassle. If the child ends up being his, he needs to set up visitation with her and still keep communication to a minimal. Try to communicate through a third party. Also, at that age you can communicate through the child for most things. I really advise on child support and visitation that is court ordered. It really saves a lot of drama when dealing with women that look for drama. If financially you are unable, this is ok. Just try to set boundaries with her so that she knows she has to respect them. Overall, I think you def. need to start with a paternity test. In the mean time, keep communication with her to a minimal. I think there needs to be ONE conversation about what is going to happen and how things should be. After this, let her deal with her miseries on her own. There will always be conflict because one wants one thing and the other wants another. She may come around in time but with strict boundaries. Show her that you all have to work together. It's your household, your rules! Good luck.

Answer 2

He needs to make her get a paternity test

Answer 3

Tell him to take it to court that way he will know for sure that its his baby and he can also have a legal agreement of when he can see him and how much money should be given for the baby!!

Answer 4

the only way you can help him is to continue to be by his side as he goes through this and make her get a test.  if she's refusing to get one, that could mean it's not really his!!!

Answer 5

Get him to put his money away somewhere in a seperate account until he knows for sure. If she never gets a paternity test, and doesnt ask him for money, at least when the child is older he can say "look, i did contribute to you, here" and it could pay towards college or something. The child cant resent him for that.