Bad toddler behavior?

Question

My son will be 3 next week. He has two sisters 10 & 11. One sister is here all the time and the other goes back and forth to her mom's. Both play with him all the time. He has taken to hitting, biting and pulling his sister's hair, the one that's always here. He has no sympathy.

He has also been screaming at her at the top of his lungs until I intervene. He also yells at his toys while he is playing, if they aren't doing what he wants (blocks falling down, train tracks not fitting etc...).

Why? and What to do?

Answer 1

search love and logic online, they are great

Answer 2

I would suggest to try a time out or some kind of punishment. Dont try to scream, show him you are in control. When he doesn' do anything wrong that day, try to reward him somehow and let him know hes doing the right things. If hes bad take things away, maybe. Also, it might help if you spend more time with him and let him know whats wrong and right. Im not saying your a bad parent. I hope this helps.

Answer 3

i would seperate them and talk 2 him

if he continues 2 b bad, give hime time out

tell him he can get his toys back when hees good

reward him when hes better

Answer 4

sympathy is learned. At 3 years old this is very complex-  

What worked wonders for us-  the next time he hits you pay all of your attention to the 'sister'

"are you okay?"  " i bet that hurt"  "come here and let me help you"  then take her into the other room or further away from the situation.

what this does is remove both children from situation. I would then go back and put my son in a time-out - and walk away...using  NO words until he calmed down. I would pick him up and set him down... it is direct, simple and was very effective.  

screaming is so hard- he sounds frustrated.  get down on your knees and help him, show him, talk to him...laugh when blocks fall down. ohhhhh my goodness...thats was cool, lets stack them again...ohhhh...good job!!!  reassurance is key.   making everything a game is also very key, especially for boys..

i ask my son to pick up 6 cars from the floor and we race... the clutter is up so i can run the sweeper and he thinks it was fun! what do' ya know! :)

these are all nomal behaviors. the one thing that i should say- is to think as a 3 year old. and don't ask why to much- -- because who knows. :)

i wouldn't want the job of a 3 year old, i know it is hard! i try to always look at it through my sons eyes.. i have never been more open-minded in my life (it's actually clearer here :)

good- luck and be patient.

Answer 5

Screaming...  I tell children that screaming is a "red light".  That means stop.  I also talk about an "inside" and an "outside" voice.  Screaming is neither.  It hurts my ears.  This week I am going to introduce a YELL MAT because we are also having this issue at school now.  I also have a CRY MAT.  The children in my class can cry, but they must remove themselves from the group, so as not to disturb the other children.  Sometimes children need to express emotion.  I offer them an appropriate area to do this.

Biting...  This method is called burnout.  I offer appropriate items for biting.  A pacifier, aquarium tubing laced with yarn or eBay offers some tools for biting in the Preschool-Kindergarten area.  The child is allowed to bite, encouraging him to continue to bite many times until he "gets it out of his system".  His jaw will be a little sore and he will remember this.  If he offers to bite again, continue this.  Eventually he will chose the "tool", because he knows this will be the end result of his behavior or it will stop.  

Karen Katz offers a series of books... No Hitting, No Biting.  The books are awesome and your child will love them.  They offer alternatives to bad behaviors.  It's ok to spit...... toothpaste in the sink.  It's ok to bite.... an apple.  Also you could make a book with him It's ok to bite, It's not ok to bite, and paste pictures.  It's not ok to bite... and place a picture of his sister on the page.