Being insulted and messed around.?

Question

I meet my ex at the shops so he can see his 4 month old daughter. He wont commit to regular days and times and expects me to jump at the last minute. In between he says one minute were both dead to him if its over then the next he wants to see her then hes disowning her then he misses her. He texts me nasty things saying I am too way big down there after having the baby and accusing me of being seen with other guys. Afterwards he denies saying it. I feel like a yo yo what can I do how do I handle this?

Answer 1

This guy has some serious issues to get taken care of.

First of all is he a boyfriend-ex or a husband-ex?

If he is a boyfriend then you need to put your foot down and set the times and places to visit, and do so with other people there for safety and witness reasons.  If he is a husband-ex then you need to get the lawyer involved to have the same thing done.

He appears to be the control freak type of person with a self esteem issue.  He has the need to put you down to make himself feel good, and it will never seem help him.  That will continue for ever or until he gets proper help.

He may at some time want to have un-supervised visitation and I would not allow that at all.  

Just as he uses anything he can now to have power over you he will use your child if given the chance.

If it is all possible, I would seriously consider moving so the expectation of a jump and run visit is just not possible.  Move to a place that is 2 hours drive or more away.

Personally I would move as far away as I could or back home to my parents til I found a suitable place to go to.

Just be careful when you are with him and never leave the baby with him alone.  Parent / Child kidnapping does happen.

Be safe first, be a parent second...  

If you don't, you may not have your baby to be the parent of.  

Answer 2

You should not have to put up with this anymore. Keep all the incriminating evidence of him harrassing you and then you can use that against him when applying for sole custody of your daughter. I know it might be hard, but ignore whatever he says, you know you are a better person than he is. Only he would be childish enough to start playing stupid games when there's a little baby involved.

Answer 3

he sounds like an a**. i wouldn't let my child be around him if he disowns her one minute to another. i would try to get child support and move on with my life until he decided to grow up and be a father.

Answer 4

You said it. You're simply being messed around. I'd say keep all his messages....if he's really bothering you alot and not committing to his obligations you can charge him with harassment and prevent him from seeing your daughter for good. From a third person....anyone can tell he's simply playing games with your head.