Best friend won't give up?

Question

My boy friend and I have been off and on for a year now. His best friend seems to only like it when we are off. We are on right now and going great we are talking about getting engaged. The only thing is his best friend is so controlling. Last night my boyfriend spent ten minutes on the phone with him trying to tell him he did not want to hang out, at one point he even lied to him it wasn't untill he agreed to go out that he could get off the phone ten minutes later he called back and was like never mind I have other plans. My boyfriend is younger than his best friend he has two kids and an ex wife and wants a real relationship again and his best friend is single and has acctually told me that my boyfriend is young and wants freedom and that every thing he has said he wanted was in my head ( boyfriend corrected this with the best friend). We live about 20 minutes from each other and the last time i went out there we were just hanging out and his best friend called and fought with him till he agreed we went out there and he was massively rude to me I have a bad back it went out the day befor the best friend told him I was faking it to get his attion he told him off and helped me to the truck. The thing is they have another thing he has three kids and another one on the way and when his wife told him and the best friend that he needs to stay close to her becuse she needs help the best friend told her that he could still go out till november when the baby is born. So it's not just me. He bad mouths the two guys they spend money on him and he never helps them out. He is like the worst friend ever if you have any advise or have been in this situation and made it through please let me know there is hope it's looking like he will be the best man at the wedding

Answer 1

Ugh, I'm just annoyed by reading about this guy. I have had a similar problem (read my question I just recently asked.. it's very similar to your problem)

Have you sat down and talked to your boyfriend about how his friend makes you feel? If you have and it seems like he stands up for you.. your next step is to just tell him, "Hey, I know ____ is your friend but he really makes me feel bad about myself when I'm around him. He doesn't support our relationship, he is rude to me, and I don't like the way he treats you. I'm not asking you to not hang out with him anymore I'm just asking you to talk to him and ask him to respect you, me and our relationship more. I don't think it's fair for me to feel uncomfortable around him and feel like I have to be on the defense."

If your boyfriend cares at all, he will listen. He may be upset at first (because of the situation) but I think he will come around.

You can't back down from this because if you get married and have kids it will only get worse. He needs to stand up for himself now.