Bipolar and living with morons........

Question

We have recently made a new friend, he lived across the hall from us with two guys who were complete and utter morons, at least according to our new friend. He is a musician, an artist, and a really smart smart guy. He ended up coming over to our place quite often because he just couldn't stand his roommates that his mom had set him up with. Apparently he "went off the deep end" last night and has ended back in the psych ward, his mom is holding my husband and myself responsible, apparently we are the only "bad" influence in his life at this time. He would come over and have a drink with us now and then, he is an adult and we were unaware of any medical disorders or conditions he had. Should I feel guilty or am I simply taking on more than I need to in this situation?

Can being bipolar and living with people that you are unable to relate to at all on ANY level cause a backslide. He was also not taking his medication, he stopped two weeks ago, we have known him for two months.

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Answer 1

There are so very many more likely reasons why he lost it than the fact that he was hanging with you guys every once in a while.  The simple fact that he went off of his meds is more than enough reason for his current problem.

I'm thinking that it's more than possible that his time with you, as you've described it, was a calm, safe place in his sea of struggling to maintain balance in his mind.

I think his mom is just feeling guilty herself & deflecting the guilt onto you.  

Support your friend.  And his mom :D   Can you go visit & bring him a little bit of calm again?  How about the kids?  

It shouldn't be too hard to explain to your kids that he's sick, that his emotions go out of control sometimes (and in a different way than is normal, so as not to scare them about their own emotions) & that he's in a hospital getting some help to get better again.  

Answer 2

You are not responsible for what other people do especially if you did not know that they had a problem to begin with.  

Answer 3

Well his mom needs someone to blame.  He's an adult and responsible for his own life.  You are not responsible for anything he does.  Why is it smart and talented people are always alittle off?

Answer 4

There is no need for you to feel guilty for your friend having a backslide.  It is his responsibility to take his medications.  Bi polar is an actual medical condition that needs ongoing treatment.  There could have been any number of factors that led him to not take his medications.  He could have been rebelling against his mothers.  He could have felt he didn't need them anymore.  No matter what the factor was, it was his choice.  Just tell your children that he is sick and getting the help he needs right now.  While I would not take children to a psych ward, you may see if they allow pictures and stuff to be delivered.  You could have your children draw him a get well card or something like that to show you are still his friend, and all of you are still there for him.