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i just want to explain my episodes i has have and that i remember each one and every detail everything started when my baby was 10 weeks old evything started with a simple depresion and anxiety then in became scary when i start having suicidal thoughs toward my kids my husband and myself i realized i need help that night when the anxiety depresion and the thoughs increased i knew i need it help so i call an abulance and while the paramedic where asking me questions i entered in a mild phychotic state where i was unable to talk and i feel like another person the rush me to the er and put me in a room with close observation and from there they same me to the mental hopital where they baker-act me the next day i start medications they put me on paxil for depresion klonopin for the anxiety and a low dose of seroquel an antyphychotic 5 days later i was release everything was find i started to feel better and everything seems to be normal 3 weeks after i was in waltmart trying to fill a prescription for my anxiety medication i didnt have any single pill so i was panic to have a nerveos in there in front of everyone the pharmacist notice i was nervous and that i need it fast so she told me 15 minutes they weRE the longest 15 minutes of my life then i run to a water fountain and i took my pill on the way out i started feeling dizziness and i notice i wasnt ok something stronger than me took power of my mind and i become another person but i didnt know what i was doing i was laughing screaming while i was driving home i was 80 miles in a place where i supposed to be 55 miles but god were wacthing OVER me cause i get home safely by that time my kids werent with me i sent aracelis to puerto rico right after they baker act me the first time and nicole also the 3 oldest were with their dad like i was saying as soon as i get home my sister that live near by saw me and notice i wasnt fine she took me to her home i was hugging her kissing her beleiving her husband was mine then my sister call the police cause i get a baseballl bat and i went into her neighboor house where a guy where there and he never open his home door thatnk god!! i was runniNg in front of the cars after that the police came they were thinking i was just laying about my state but when my sister show them all the medication i was taking they believe i was very agressive so the sat me on a chair and call an ambulance caus emy sister call the wrong people i try to hit the police men too an ambulance arrive took me to the er again same thing happen but my phychotic state was worst i took my shirt off get a blanket and i was holding it like a baby i was breasfeeding that blanket an doctor came and saw everything so they send me to the mental hospital again that episode lasted 3 hours!!!! 6 DAYS LATER I WAS RELEASE WITH OTHER MEDICATIONS MOOD STABALIZERS ANTYPHYCHOTICS DRUGS AND OTHERS BUT I DONT REMEMEBER VERY WELL BUT THE MEDICATION THEY GAVE ME MAKE ME VERY SICK SO I STTOPED THEM AND I LET THEM KNOW SO THEY KEEP ME WITH THE SEROQUEL AFTER THAT I HAVE A COUPLE OTHER EPISODES ONE I WAS COMPLETLY ALONE IN MY HOME EARLIER THAT DAY I BEGGED MY HUSBAND TO STAY WITH ME BUT HE LEFT AND LEAVE ME LIKE 1 HOUR LATER I BECAME PHYCHOTIC AGAIN THAT TIME I GET ONE OF MY DAUGHTER DOLLS BELIVING WERE CELY I RUN TO MY NEIGBOOR HOME AND GET HER MOOPS THEN I WAS RUNNING ALL MY NEIBORHOOD WITH THAT MOOP I WENT BACK HOME RUN TO MY OTHER NEIGBOOR GET HIS SHOES BRING THEM HOME RUNNING AROUND LIKE A LITTLE GIRL I EVEN WHERE STOOLING STUFF I WAS CRAZY MY FAMILY WHERE THERE THE WHOLE TIME BUT SOMETIMES THEY JUST CANNOT CONTROL ME I WAS PUT IN A HIGHER DOSE OF MEDICATION AND IT HELP 2 MONTHS LATER I STOP THE MEDICATIONS IS BEEN 13 DAYS SINCE.WILL I RELAPSE?? MY BABY IS 7 MONTHS NOWTHEY SAY I WAS BIPOLAR I SAY PPP POSTPARTUM PHYCHOSIS
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