Birth order question. . . deceased sister?

Question

I find the subject of birth order and how it affects personality ver interesting. However it is very hard to find any info on how death affects birth order characteristics. My only sibling, a sister, was born when I was 21 months old, and passed away 6 months later, when I was just a little over two yrs of age, of a heart defect. I do remember her, although vaguely (ie I remember watching my mother feed her baby cereal) and more so I remember thinking about her for quite some time after she died. I'm sure I couldn't quite comprehend what had happened exactly, being so young, but I named a doll of mine after her when I was maybe 2 or 3 and carried it around for quite some time. I also had a rattle and her baby hair brush, which I played with alot. My question is, how does this affect a child's personality?? I cannot be called a typical only child, can I? But I don't think I would be considered an "oldest", either. Has anyone ever read anything on this? I've always been curious-thanks!

Answer 1

Sorry you lost your sister at such a young age.  I think your older sister, will always be the older sister, even though she has passed on.  She was born first.  So she is the older sister forever.

     As far as all the other things you did after her death,  I think this is normal,  you missed her and wanted her to still be with you so you named you doll after her.  This was just your way of keeping her memory alive for you.  The way a child grieves after the death of a sibling can have a prolonged effect on their lives.  If you were not allowed to grieve the way you did,  things might have turned out differently for you.  You got to say goodbye to her in your own good time, when you were ready to let her go.

Answer 2

I, too, love to discuss birth order and observe how the roles are in my own family.  They say that everything that is important in your life is imprinted upon you before you were 5 years of age, so the death of your sister is very important to you and how you perceive the world.  

How a child views death is very different than adults.  You remember grown-ups being excited that she was coming (birth).   You knew she was there, and then she was gone.  You knew that the grown-ups were sad, but that is a concept that children don't understand at 2 years old.  

Because you were the oldest, you are still the oldest, with leadership capabilities and problem-solving techniques that oldest have.  However, because you were raised as an only child, you will also have characteristics of an only child, maybe wanting to be the center of attention everywhere you go, but also having the ability to occupy yourself quietly and more maturely than other children.  (could it be that you have the best of both worlds?!)

Only you would know how it has affected your personality.

Answer 3

i find this an interesting subject too, i think that in a way you could be considered an only child, but i dont think that it would have much impact on your personality because you were very young and like you said more than likely did not comprehend what had happened...that would be my best guess....