Borderline Personality Children

Question

My kids break my heart and I am such a fool I keep going back for more. I love them, but the seem to reel me in like a fish and just when I think thngs are fine they throw me back in the water and I drown again.

It keeps happening but if I leave them out of my life I worry that they need a mother otherwise why do they also keep on trying to make it work and then feel so afraid that they sabotage the relationship again.

I am depressed about it.

Answer 1

See your doctor who can help with your depression

Answer 2

Sounds like you are going through a really tough time, sometime Borderline Personality Disordered (BPD) people feel that the world is against them and no one cares about them.  

Have you thought about talking to your GP to get some help for yourself to teach you how to manage your child when they are acting out.

Hopefully your child will eventually grow up and stop resorting the the behaviours of someone with BPD.

If you google BPD you find some more information to read and learn more about how people with BPD see life.  It may give you some insight into why they do what they do.

good luck and seek someone for yourself to talk about your problems, this may also assist you to not feel so depressed about your current situation.

Answer 3

you have to be there you are their mother i know that it can be hard at times but just do the best to be there for them and know that you did your best just never let them down and one day they will look back and remember that and thank you for it...good luck i hope i was a little help

Answer 4

You need to offload the situation to a doctor and explain

the burden you feel and how sad it has made you.

I can understand what your saying, it does not make a

big difference that there are others out there...does it ? It

still does not make this right , or the problems go away!

Like one of the other people said, make yourself not so

handy and do the best you can to join things and make

your own life busy so that you can't genuinely always say

yes to their requests.   Good wishes to you

Answer 5

Counselor on the internet is a risky but sometimes profitable in a charitable sense. Your situation is typical to an extent at which a problem of controlling is a main issue and these people are telling you "hands off1" Self-esteem issues are quite prevalent here and you could allow yourself a bit of personal accomplishment by taking inventory of all your deeds and be careful of denial. Are you married? if so then include the spouse. If not then include yourself and be specific and egotistic!

Answer 6

you need to sit down and talk to a decent consler and sort out your own problems first.

Answer 7

Start off slow. Obviously you want your childern in your life. But maybe you should keep them at arms length. I mean, chat away but hang uo the phone eventually. You can be in their lives without being so ... attached maybe. I know what I want to say but cant find the right words so I;m just going to ramble...

You can never tell you kids you want nothing to do with them. But sometimes being close can hurt just as much.

Try being friends with them first!

Answer 8

i am 12 and i live with my mum my mum went through the same stage with my sister..  she let her do what she wanted to do anbd stay with her dad untill it got out of hand sh did it because she loved loads and if she wudent of let her she would of hated her.. try telling them hw you feel maybe ask themwhen they would like to seeyou and if they dnt want to see you leave it for a few weeksand then they willrealise how much they do really need a mother. i know im only 12 but in my life i have bin threw alot and my mother tells me everything :D hope you are okay lots of love rebecca age 12

Answer 9

Kayla J- That is not how borderline personality people think and relate to people. Sadly, they may never appreciate you, it depends how severe their condition is.

You are dealing with something huge, and you sound like you are doing so great. It is so,so hard to deal with borderline personalities, and a lot of mothers would have given up by now. Honestly, you are an amazing person and you should feel proud of youself.

The problem with borderline people is that they do push people out of their lives, so they really do need someone like you who will love them and keep trying.

As someone who deals with a borderline person myself, you need to set up barriers emotionally. Have distance, give yourself time to recover from a bad meeting. And lower your expectations of them as much as you can. If you expect nothing them you wont be as disapointed. Maybe just see them on certain days, or just have phone calls. Have rules- like that you dont give them money, you dont do their housework etc.

I'm so sorry for this difficult situation. I hope you give yourself due credit, and that you have the support of people around you.

Good luck and god bless you