Boyfriend has anger problem?

Question

my boyfriend and me get on brilliantly most of the time, and its really good, but when we argue(like everyone does sometimes) he gets really angry and starts threatening stuff, like he will throw me down the stairs and things, he says really hurtfull things and it seems like he is getting worse, he says it all builds up over time and it just all comes out, but im starting to think he is mad, i feel like im on egg shells, i had to leave last night and come to my parents, i was scared, do u think he is dangerous? the only thing that keeps me there is how good it is when we dont argue,

Answer 1

whenever you have an argument and you feel it's getting really bad, you have give him some space. Some ppl get sooo angry that they can't control it and they'll go and do stupid things b/c it gets so annoying. I'm a little like that too, but what i try to do now when i argue and it gets really bad, i just leave the room. I'll go in the bathroom and stay for 10 minutes and think about what were really arguining about and if it's as big of a deal as it should be.

ANd that way he cools off a little too. hopefully one person will realize they're wrong and apologize but if not, at least you'll be able to have a better conversation about it instead of just yelling.  

Answer 2

If he has anger issues then you know he could be dangerous and unpredictable.

And if he is getting worse then that is bad news.

IF you are living as if walking on eggshells then you should leave.

If you still love him then insist he gets professional help for his anger problem and if you must then remain friends.

Usually an abuser does not change.

And sadly many women end up paying the price with their own life at the hands of these bullying monsters.

Answer 3

Pack your bags and disappear, if you do not do it ASAP you may end up trapped in the cycle of abuse, forgiveness and more abuse, then a child comes along and your really stuck.  No one should live like that, he has no respect for you, and if you stay you don't have any for yourself, what chance would a child have, in that type of sick relationship!

Answer 4

get shot of him love like now.if you end up marrying him you will be his punchbag for the whole of the marraige and what if you had children and he threw them down the stairs?this man is dangerous.

Answer 5

I hate to break it to you, but he is an abusive man, and yes it can get worse.  He could accidentally kill you.  It happens all of the time.  You need to get away from him.  Tell him that you are going to your mother's until he goes to anger management classes for his temper.  Do not tell him when you are alone with him.  Even if you have to tell him after you have secretly moved your things.

I have been in the position that you are in, and was eventually almost killed when he, after many years, put a shotgun to my head and my 3 year old daughter's head, because a friend of his looked at me as if he was impressed.  I had done nothing wrong, whatsoever.  This guy just looked at me, so he said, in what he called a suggestive way.  I did not even notice it  Fortunately, I was saved after I begged for mine and my daughter's lives.  That night, when he went to sleep, I grabbed my daughter and left.  I called my mother.  My daughter and I had to hide in neighbor's bushes until she came to get me.  That is how scared I was.

He even tried to break into my parents house to get me.  I had to get a restraining order, and had him arrested.  

He did not start off that bad.  Over the years he just got worse.  He started out just like your bf.

Answer 6

It's going to be very hard to do I can assure you, but, GET OUT NOW, otherwise you are going to be left with a few broken bones, if you don't believe me watch all the other answers. I wish you thebest of luck.

Answer 7

I'm sorry to say this but I TOTALLY agree with most of what the others have said - although your being 'stupid' is not one of them as you have the sense to know this behaviour isn't normal. Seriously honey, leave this guy and go back home - it will hurt for awhile but you are worth far more than this and, in your heart, you know it.

Answer 8

It sounds like he has anger management problems or he might be bipolar or borderline, who knows! In any case he does not seem to be in control of his emotions and overreacts to situations.

It depends on how committed you are to him and how much you love him. You can try and help him take control of his emotions. You need to talk to him about this though. He has to understand how this is effecting you and the relationship and recognize that he has a problem otherwise it will be a lost battle. Start may be by buying a self help book and reading it with him.

It will be a hard journey but if you are prepared for it then good luck!

Answer 9

I've stood right where you are, I wish someone would have told me this. You cannot change anyone else, there is nothing you can do for them or about them, to make them change. They have to do the work. It won't magically go away if only you.....NO, it is his problem, the way he DEALS with anger, not what caused the anger. It will get worse and worse until he either gets the tools to learn to manage it, or becomes violent. Men do not like to admit weakness, help is something they rarely seek. What has already happened has set the stage..tough love is hard but it's nessessary..If you go back without him getting help you are enabling him to possibly commit murder..yours...suicide...his..If you love him leave him.  There's no if....only when.

Answer 10

yes he cud be dangerous.

has he ever actually physically hurt you? if he has then walk away now!

if not then it cud just be he says those things to hurt u or provoke a reaction from u. not very nice still.

i have the same kinda probs with my gf.

she threatens all sorts of stuff like il smash that ashtray over ur head. il cut myself. or she threatens to walk out an never return.

but i knwo she wud never do that.. shes allways had anger problems and lets it all build up until she cant take it any more.

last time we argued we made a promise to each other.. if we p**s each other off.. no matter how small it is we will tell each othere rite there an then rather than let it all build up.

that way we can do sumthing about it and we dont end up in a massive row.

we still argue but nothing like it was b4

Answer 11

Like huge numbers of women you are incredibly stupid and you are probably wasting your time asking this question because when you get the most sensible advise you will likely ignore it.  The most sensible advise is to ditch the idiot before he completely ruins your life, and make no mistake about it, he will.

You also have to bear in mind that if you stay with him and later on have children with him then you will be ruining your future children's lives as well.

Answer 12

me too think that he is an unstable person.  One who cannot manage his emotion, is not a good person.  Move out while you can, before you get hurt.

good luck

Answer 13

End it NOW. its only just begun, he's feeling the ground work with you, he WILL hurt,  you WILL be trapped, you WILL lose your self esteem and make excuses for him. LEAVE HIM

Answer 14

Let me catch him mistreating you and I will take him on a one way scuba diving trip.  

Answer 15

he sounds very unstable, and yes dangerous.  

Answer 16

I'd advise that you leave this relationship as soon as you see a chance. What he's doing to you is abuse. You said it's getting worse, right? It's probably not good for you to stay any longer then. The ideal relationship is one where you can feel happy, protected and safe. It doesn't sound like you're either or these in this relationship right now. If you really insist on staying with this guy, it might be an idea to address the issue with him. There may be a reason for his bad moods, and if you can figure it out, and help. Sometimes sitting down and listening is all it takes. =}

Answer 17

Early sign of abusive partner. He can get only worse if you just let him do that or forgive him.

The best thing you can do is to leave him.

It can be an early sign for you as well to have a miserable life.

I hope you have a courage and strong to leave him.

He really is not worth to be your husband or even boyfriend.

Don't be a victim.

Warning : This kind of men usually say sweet things after doing all the bad things. It's sweet honey when you see, but you will realize it was a poison later on. I hope you understand me.