Breast feeding why so hard????????

Question

My little man is 3 weeks and 2 days old he was born jaundice after being under the grow lamps for 14 hours his levels lowered and then went up and down until a week ago he was shown as fully fine no jaundice

I tried to breastfeed in hospital but he wouldnt latch and when he did he wouldnt suck and still wont

I had to hand express and feed with a syringe as he wouldnt eat. He slept all the time and we started using an electric breast pump. after 4 days and nights in the hospital working with a lactation consultant she basically said there is nothing else she could do for me and that i will just have to give up on getting him onto the breast

In hospital he slept basically the whole time which they put down to the jaundice and me and my partner spent around 30 to 60 minutes waking him each time he had to feed

So i express my milk and feed it to him via bottle

Well i have been going to a parenting centre to learn how to breastfeed and have to use a nipple shield as he wont suck or latch without one

Even with the shield more milk gets on me and him than in his belly

He will feed off me for anywhere from half an hour to two hours at a time and then he wakes an hour later starving

I dont understand when i bottle my milk for him he will sleep for 3 hours after it and is a lot happier'

But i am losing supply as there isnt as much stimulation with the pump

I am getting about 60 ml at each pump and he is eating about 100 ml per feed

I am running out of my supply of frozen breast milk and do absolutely everything to increase supply

Well today at the centre they suggested that i supplement his feeds with formula which im not keen on that idea

I guess my question is Why is breastfeeding so flaming hard when it is supposed to be the best and natural way to feed

I dont know what else to do and was planning to feed until at least he was one even if i have to pump the whole time but now i am not getting enough to even feed him and have to use my frozen supply which i have 400 ml left of frozen

What do i do

SHOULD I JUST accept that formula is what i will have to use???

Answer 1

You might have to accept the idea of formula. You need to do whatever you need to do to feed that child. You gave breastfeeding your all and it's just won't work. Please stop beating yourself up over it. Pump whatever you can and then use formula as well.

Answer 2

I was set on breastfeeding my baby...In the hospital, it seemed like he was starving all the time because he wouldn't latch on or feed for more than 5-10 minutes at a time...I finally had to give in a give him formula...At his 2 week appointment, the doctor recognized that he had a condition that kept him form beng able to latch on correctly...His tongue was connected underneath all the way to the tip and he couldn't suck on my odd shaped nipples...We're going to have to correct it with surgery before he tried to start talking...I tried to pump to give it to him that way, but I wasn't able to even get 1oz after pumping both b*****s for an hour...It was frustrating...

Just do what you feel is right...you are mom...Don't feel guilty or let ANYONE else make you feel guilty about not being able to give your baby breast milk...It's not your fault!

Good luck! :)

Answer 3

Congrats on the new baby!!  

First of all, relax....you sound really upset.  I can understand why though, breast feeding is the best choice for your baby, but some of us, just are not built to our baby's liking I guess.  It sure sounds like you have tried everything possible, and still no luck.  I guess at this point I would say use the formula-they have the kind with dha and rha like breast milk.  You could continue to pump until you are completely dry if your supply is slowing, but I wouldn't recommend it because it is so important to you.Lactation consultants are around for just this reason.  This is what they study...I would follow their advice.  I think you should just stop, and formula feed, then ENJOY YOUR BABY!  You can always try breast feeding again with the next one, maybe it will work that time.

Good Luck

Momma P  

Answer 4

"Why is breastfeeding so flaming hard when it is supposed to be the best and natural way to feed"

Because what you're doing isn't breastfeeding; it's a mess with pumps and bottles and breast shields.

Four-week-old babies can be taught to latch. You need to find QUALIFIED help.

"How can you find a lactation consultant?"

http://parenting.ivillage.com/baby/bbrea...

Avoid the 'centre,' the hospital 'consultants' -- find somebody who knows what they are doing. Also try http://llli.org/. Good luck.

Answer 5

There are things you can do to increase your supply... I've just started taking an herb called 'Blessed Thistle' and I'm getting good results already.  I have read many testimonies that eating oatmeal helps, as well as pumping more often to increase the demand on your body...

Hope this helps some, I'm in the process of trying all these things myself.

Answer 6

I am sorry you had to go through this. I know hand expressing is horrible - I had to do it for a day with my son. I think it is because of the epidural, but for the whole first day he just would not latch on. So I had nurses coming in and hand expressing me and trying to teach me how to do it myself. Thankfully for me my son latched on the next day. However it has only been hurdle after hurdle since then. Bad latches, sore cracked nipples and recently biting. I totally get where you are coming from though. It is supposed to be natural, and yet women experience so many problems.

I suppose it is something that you will have to accept. If you have exhausted all your options with experts etc. I know it is hard. I just can't fathom giving my son formula, as I just talked myself into breastfeeding so much whilst I was pregnant. At some stage I might but if I don't have to I don't want to at this stage. Feeding your son is the important thing and if your supply starts to dry up then there won't be any choice. I am sorry you have to do this when its not what you want. I know the thing I hate is when people always tell me to solve my problems with formula.

Good Luck, I hope you can get past this and still enjoy your son.  

Answer 7

Tell me about it!! I've been wondering the same thing.  I came to the conclusion that it's difficult, because there isn't enough support for breastfeeding mothers, and not enough information.

Your lactation consultant is wrong!  You can get your baby to latch again.  It's just going to take time and patience.  He's probably used to the bottles by now, so it's going to take some work.

First of all, you need to rent an electric double pump, so that your supply will not diminish.  The Medela symphony is really good for increasing and maintaining supply.

Then Try to feed baby when he's not too hungry, so he's more patient, and doesn't get frustrated.  So offer the breast before he asks.

Spend lots of time lying in bed, cuddling with him, with your breast availbale.  Take a nice relaxing bath, and let him reach up to your breast on his own.  Squeeze out a little bit of milk, so he can smell it, and always have him close.

It'll happen for you.  And he'll start to nurse without the shield.  Mommy's breast smells nice, unlike the artificial nipples and breast shields.  He'll start to enjoy it soon.  Just have patience, and don't stress out.  Try contacting a different lactation consultant too.  They're not all as good, or as experienced as they can be.

Good luck, and congratulations.  Good for you for hanging in there.  

ETA:  You can take blessed thistle and fenugreek capsules to increase your supply.  I think the dossage is 6 capsules a day of each.

If that doesn't help, you can ask your doctor about domperidone.  It helps to increase supply.

You can email me if you want to talk, or need support, or have any questions at all.  I had a really rough start too, so I know how hard it can be.  But 20 months later, we 're still going strong.  It can happen for you too.  ;)

Answer 8

At the end of the day it's about your little man being fed... as long as you love him, it doesn't make a lot of difference.  You know you have done your best, do a bit of both and keep sane.  It is hard (been there, done that 3 times).  Yes, it is the best but it's not the only way and you just need to have a healthy baby and a healthy mum, when all is said and done.

Good luck!

Mum of 3 (18, 13, 4)

Answer 9

I'm sorry that you got off to such a bad start.  It's tough to get started breastfeeding sometimes, especially when you're separated from your baby.

It sounds like the problem is that your son breastfeeds (with the nipple shield) then wakes up an hour later to nurse again?  If that's the main complaint, I have great news for you!  That's normal!  That's what breastfed babies do!  The more formula you give, the longer this cycle will be drawn out.  If you cool it with the formula and just nurse, your baby will become satisfied at the breast sooner.  Really.

You can do it!

Answer 10

CONGRATULATIONS!!!! On being stubborn and wanting to keep up. My not ten and a half moth old daughter was also jaundiced and went from the hospital lactation consultant praising us, to her not waking to feed. At one point, on our full day at the hospital, the nurse said that if our daughter didn't wake up by noon to nurse, a bottle would have to be given. The thought of giving my daughter a bottle of formula freaked me out and made me fell ill. Formula is very substandard to milk. Thankfully, she woke up and nursed great. For me not breastfeeding was not an option as long as my daughter and I were both healthy.

I wonder what mothers did before formula and if a wet nurse wasn't available...

It's not easy. Things worth having often aren't. Things worked out for us. By the time we left the hospital, she was feeding fine. She would still wake constantly, feed for awhile and go back to sleep. For the first few months she would nurse every two hours for at least an hour at a time. It's natural. Let your son nurse for as long as he wants. Just make sure you have water, non-perishable snacks (dried fruit, dry cereal, all-natural granola bars, etc.) and a stack of reading material (I already had a few magazine subscriptions, but got a few more as well) and the remote handy and get comfortable. You just might be on the sofa for awhile. (All through winter I didn't even bother to get dressed unless I was going out.)

For me, formula (soy, and even then only one brand as we've only found one brand of soy or cow's milk formula without corn syrup-- ) will only be used if my child and/or I are ill and breastfeeding will be not good or if I adopt. (I figure that I am already doing one of the best things I can do for the baby by adopting him.)

Please, keep it up. The more you nurse the more milk you produce.

Answer 11

First, nursing is very hard.  It is not a natural skill, but learned.  For the first 3 weeks, I had to supplement DD with formula (I had no choice) and now at 7 months, she's a beautiful, strong little girl (ok, she's still a baby, but she seems so much bigger than what she used to be Lol!).  Do I regret supplementing?  Absolutely not.  DD wasn't gaining enough weight it was necessary.  Yes, I cried over it.  No, I didn't like it, but I couldn't pump enough. (60 ml is great.  I would've kept pumping had I been able to pump that much, so congratulations!!)

With an electric pump, you should be well stimulated.  Can you pump while nursing you little one?  That might increase the amount you pump....Keep trying to get him to latch on.  Meaning, try to get him to open his mouth wide, pinch your nipple to help him get ahold of you (ok, maybe you've tried all of this).  Just keep pumping and nursing.  Hopefully he'll get the hang of it!

Answer 12

Sounds like you are doing the best you can!  I would keep trying to pump and doing it on a regular basis...but ya know what? If that doesn't work there is NO shame in supplementing with formula.  What's important is that your child is healthy and fed.  Don't believe the folks that spout off about everyone being able to breastfeed...it simply isn't true.  I've seen a lot of mumbo jumbo about women in other countries and cultures who never have the option of formula and never have problems with breastfeeding.....seems they forget how many countries have malnourished children and very high infant mortality rates.  Also, many mothers who can't nurse will have someone else in their community nurse for them..a "wet nurse".  

Bottom line...you're doing a wonderful job because you care and that's what matters most!

Answer 13

It sounds like you have just about moved heaven and earth in your quest to breastfeed.  Most would have given up long ago.  You are to be commended for your commitment.

That said, give yourself a break.  There are truly infants out there that may never get the hang of breastfeeding.  You may exhuast yourself trying to pump and then feed and there just aren't enough hours in the day. Your baby deserves a mom who is able to be a mom too, not just a food source.  

I breastfed exclusively my 1st and did a combo of breast and formula for the other 2.  They are all fine, healthy and bonded with me like you wouldn't believe :0.