Breastfeeding opinion..?

Question

Hi..

just a bit of curiousity question...I hear about all of these mothers that bottle feed and get lectured and stared at all the time when they go out or by family members...but I am breastfeeding and get the same stares and rude comments..

i don't do it in public or anything but some people have made some ignorant remarks to me when they find out my daughter is still breast fed and my husbands entire family keeps asking me when i am going to stop..

My daughter is now 14 months old and continues to breastfeed and thrive...I know that it is best for her...the pediatric society says AT LEAST 12 months... but at times i get frustrated and annoyed at all of this pressure to stop...

she only feeds 3 times a day..in the morning, before her nap and at bedtime...i feed her regular food if she shows interest that she wants some and i always make her a small plate of what my husband and i are eating so its not like im forcing her to breastfeed...im just letting her wean herself naturally...

just want some opinions on the subject..

Answer 1

Way to go mommy!!!!!  I love how uneducated people are about nursing.  3 times a day at 14 months is great, allow he to self ween when she is ready.  The WHO recommends 2 years and beyond.  As far as your family try to educate them about the benefits of extended nursing.

Answer 2

personally breast feeding is ok but i believe in bottle feeding that way you only have 2 wean them off the bottle i think that you should begin 2 wean her now

Answer 3

It's whatever you feel best is for your child.  I bottle fed and stopped at 12 months I would have done the same if I had breastfed (I didn't make enough milk to breastfeed). About 11 months I started weaning my son to sippy cups and at 12 months he went straight to whole milk, and he is a healthy 5 year old boy now.  

Answer 4

my opinion is that you ROCK!! lol

I am BFing my 8 month old and plan to let her self wean.

Tell all the ignorant people and their comments to stick it where the sun don't shine.  :)

and the WHO recommends 2 years and beyond.

Answer 5

No one should be made to feel bad for how they feed their baby no matter how it is done. I just answered a question where some ignorant person commented that she loved her reflux baby enough to breastfeed it (the person asking the question was bottle feeding) Most people, no matter how they choose to feed their baby, will come across some sort of rude remarks/ funny looks. Don't give in to any pressure to stop. If you want to let your baby guide you then so be it. Breast is best, everyone knows that, but formula is not poison.  

Answer 6

You are doing the best for your child - it is recommended to actually breast feed for the first 2 years of life and to let them self wean.  It sounds like you are on the right path for self weaning since she is already down to 3 nursing sessions a day.

My daughter is only 5 months but I plan to do the same as you.  For the first year breast milk should be their primary food source and now at 14 months it sounds like she is on a good path for solid foods since she eats what you eat.  Weaning naturally is good for you and good for baby!

Not sure how to deal with all of the comments - I am going through the same thing and Elyse is only 5 months - my mom thinks I should wean her at 6 months and go to formula?!?  Very old fashioned way of thinking.  When I told her that I will breastfeed for at least a year and hopefully longer she didn't seem too happy, said I should offer a bottle at a year old for night time to wean her from the breast - keep in mind those comments are coming from a woman who thought I should pump and feed since it's easier?  I just think she is clueless since I was formula fed.  

My only advice on that is to tell them you are doing what is best for your family and leave it at that - no need to justify what you are doing.

Answer 7

It's unfortunate, but you just have to accept that there are a lot of ignorant people out there. There are actually people who associate breastfeeding with lewdness because our culture is so obsessed with the breast being a sexual object. It's so sad.

I nursed my two boys until around age two and never got any rude looks or comments. I didn't nurse in public as much when they were older, but I still consider myself very lucky to have had all good experiences. I would have been irate if I had had a negative experience. My sister actually organized a breastfeeding sit-in protest at a location where she was asked to stop nursing her baby. I think we just need to persevere. The more people who nurse their babies in public, the more educated and used to it the public will be. You have just as much right to feed your baby as anyone who uses formula.

As for the family memebers, I would just make sure to educate them with as much information as you can if they bring it up. They'll get so sick of you that they'll stop eventually. :)

Answer 8

When your in-laws ask you about it, tell them that there are a lot of studies that show the health benefits in nursing for the first two years.  Tell them that you want your daughter to have the best start in life, and that you feel fortunate to be in a position where you can nurse her beyond one year.

Hopefully that will put a stop to the questions.

Answer 9

Well I can tell you that I breastfed my son, and will be breastfeeding my second (due in Jan).  Nobody in my family has ever  breast fed...not my mom, sisters, aunts nobody and I got a lot of looks when I first told everyone that I was breast feeding.  I did not allow anyone to say anything to me...he is my son and is was my choice...I dont put anyone else down for choosing to not breastfeed, and I sure as heck am not going to let anyone say or do anything to make me feel uncomfortable.  If they have a problem with it, they can excuse themselves from the room, or simply mind their own business...you dont have to stop, you can breastfeed her for as long as you would like.  You need to stand up for yourself and let his family know that you dont have to explain yourself when it comes to feeding your daughter and if they have that big of a problem with it, than they can choose to not take part in your family until you stop.  

Please dont listen to others...you are her mother and know what is best for her...there is nothing unnatural about it and you should cherish these moments...breastfeeding creates a bond like no other between mommy and baby and once you stop, you can't get that experience back, so enjoy it while you can , and tell everyone else to MIND their OWN business!  Good luck (:

Answer 10

WAY TO GO GIRL.....Keep up the awesome job. You are doing the right thing by your daughter. I think you are doing a great job. I am sorry people pressure you to stop nursing your daughter, I do not see anything wrong with it. I have nursed all of my five children, and it is the single most important thing you can do for your child in the first year. I did not nurse as long as you, but wish I could have. I think what you are doing is commendable :) I do not have anything against formula feeders either...As long as you are doing right by your child and loving them, then no one should lecture you about how to feed your child...congrats on the breastfeeding...and good luck from a mom of five.

Answer 11

I hope you want an honest opinion, because that's what you're going to get.  You feed her solids if she seems interested? At 14 months, a child should be VERY interested in solids. She is only nursing three times per day, which means that most of her nutrition should be coming from the foods she eats. And mom, seriously....why aren't you pumping and putting the milk into a sippy cup? It is a little strange to have a toddler nursing.  I can't even imagine if I had continued to breast feed my children after one year. Full set of teeth, and to the point where the child can lift your shirt up herself?  No thanks. Your child should be off the breast and the bottle and be sipping from a cup.  She isn't going to wean herself naturally, you're going to have to do it for her.  I knew a woman that let her three year old nurse off of her.  I guess they were weaning "naturally" too.

Answer 12

I think that anyone who would 'lecture you' about your decision to give your baby the best possible food is being rude and ignorant. Ignore them. You know that you are doing a GOOD thing.

As you correctly note, while 12 months is considered the preferred minimum time, there is no real 'maximum' ... and 14 months is nowhere near even the most conservative 'maximum.'  Multiple sources say that nursing for 2-3 years is not only not harmful, but is beneficial.

Answer 13

You do what is best for your baby and tell everyone else to just mind their own business.  

Answer 14

My opinion is to do what you want.  I was only able to breastfeed my daughter for nine months due to milk supply issues.  My goal was to BF her for 14 months and then wean her.  Personally I would not BF past that age.  But if YOU want to continue BFing then it's your choice, I'm sorry your family members won't respect that.

Answer 15

Your nursing relationship with your baby is your own to determine.  Nosy Nellies should be ignored.  Your breast milk is still good nutrition for your daughter.  Nurse as long as you like.  I was down to three times per day at 14 moths just like you.  By 17 months my son only wanted to nurse during his bedtime routine.  I didn't offer any more, but didn't refuse him if he indicated he wanted to nurse.  By 18 months he weened himself.

Enjoy your precious time with your baby and know you are doing the right thing nutritionally and socially for your baby.    

Answer 16

Well I BF my daughter until she was 4...through 1/2 my pregnancy with my son and am still BF my son at 18 months.  I got the c**p from the inlaws and people but I could care less.  I gave them some facts etc and told them it is none of their business and not open to discussion.

Research extended BF and then give them some info and tell them to butt off.  I do not understand how and why people care what we do with our kids.  And I love how some think all these kids do is BF and they have no food or drink other than that.  It shows their stupidity honestly.  I loved getting asked about what my 3 year old thinks when we eat dinner and she does not.

My daughter had a full set of teeth when she weaned. They learn to nurse gently with them.  A pretty cool book is mothering your nursing toddler.

Try to attenda la leche meeting as I did when my daughter was 14 months and it was so nice to see others nursing toddlers, and 2 and 3 year olds.

Good luck!

Answer 17

You go girl! Do what you think is best for your baby! It doesn't matter what other people think! I have learned that people love to give advice about new babies! I've learned to follow my own natural instinct!

Answer 18

I think breastfeeding is great and beautiful.  Stick with it as long as you and baby wish.  Don't worry about what other people think..... its none of their business.  We all know that  it still serves many benefits to children over a year of age.  

Answer 19

I am a formula feeder so I don't know that my opinion counts, but I think its fine, you are doing what is comfortable for you and your baby and isn't that what is important?  If she was having issues that might be different, but why the fuss, it's completely your decision on how to wean your baby and it sounds like an easy gentle way to do it.

Answer 20

I dont know what your question really is, what you are explaining sounds like baby led weaning, which is great. In this world everyone will stare and have their own opinions, but really in the end it all boils down to you doing whats best for your baby.  

Answer 21

my son is 5 months old. i plan to breastfeed as long as he likes. i cannot stand the ignorance of those who think,"oh 1st birthday is here, time to wean baby." honestly it really ticks me off. yes, society is changing there views on bf but the negativity towards extended bf is still apparent. my MIL makes comments all the time about other women who have bf "too long" according to her. i try my best to make it known that i don't agree with her standards bc i know as my son grows she is going to have something to say about my continued bf. do whats right for you and your daughter. you will never forgive yourself if you quit bc of the discrimination. also it sounds to me like the bulk of the negativity is coming from your husbands side of the family. make sure he is on board with you and ask that he maybe speak with some of them about how "your family" has chosen to raise your daughter. its really none of their business and i am sooo sorry you are being put through this. what you are doing for your baby is wonderful and the experience is something you will cherish forever. best of luck!

Answer 22

I think that you've done a great thing for your baby by breastfeeding this long and I'm completely on your side! My son just turned 12 months and is still BFing 6 times a day.  Soon here we'll probably move to something similar to what you have, by making mealtimes cup times instead of nursing.  But, like you, I'm not in a hurry.  

My in-laws and relatives also ask when I'm going to stop breastfeeding, although I take it more as curiosity on their part than as judging.

When your husband's family asks again, you have a few choices.  You could get defensive/indignant and tell them that you're doing what you think is best for your daughter and imply that they should butt out.  Or, you could tell them that you've already started the weaning process but that you want it to be gradual.  That's the route that I'm taking.  heck, you started weaning your daughter the day that you gave her solid food for the first time!

Having breastfed for 14 months I'm sure you've been resisting pressure for a while now, so don't give up!  My opinion is that you're being a strong supportive mother and that only you and your husband (and your daughter!) can make the choice on when to completely wean.

Answer 23

My opinion is that everyone seems to have strong opinions on the care and feeding of babies.

If you bottle feed then sometimes breastfeeders get angry.  If you breastfeed then sometimes bottle feeders get angry.  It's a catch 22.

As far as your inlaws entire family asking you when you're going to stop... just smile and say:

"When we're both ready and not before." and change the subject.  It's really none of their business and unless you're breastfeeding in front of them why are they even asking you?  It's rude.

I'm still bottle feeding my twins and nobody has said a word to me about it.

I think that's so rude for people to question you and you shouldn't take their opinions under consideration!  :-D