Bridesmaids didn't pay

Question

My mom and sister (maid of honor) paid entirely for my bridal shower. My two bridesmaids didn't offer to pay anything. I feel terrible that my mom and sister had to shoulder the cost of everything. I've offered to help, but they won't accept it. Are my bridesmaids being rude or forgetful? Isn't it tradition that the bridesmaids pay for the shower?

Answer 1

I didn't pay for bridal showers when I was a bridesmaid but did whatever I was able to when I was a honor attendant.  I thought tradition was the honor attendant took care of bridal shower.  Were attendants asked their opinion of what to do for you?  It's possible they weren't allowed any say in the shower & were unable to afford what was done for you.  But, ya know what?  Honey, weddings are stressful enough, don't go looking for trouble because you will find it.  The shower details had nothing to do with you so let that battle go.  I hope you will retain nice memories of the shower given you in preparation for the wonderful wedding day awaiting you & your fiance.  Best wishes

Answer 2

Honestly, if I were asked to be a bridesmaid and were expected to pay for the shower, I would have to decline.  I don't think they are being rude or forgetful.  They are there to help you plan your wedding, not to pay for everything.

Answer 3

I dont think they did anything wrong. Sounds like your mom and sister planned the whole thing, so they are the hosts. The bridesmaids should only contribute money if they are co-hosts, ie. helped make the guest list, helped organize games, planned food, etc. But if the bridesmaids were simply invited to the shower by your mom and sister, then they were guests and not hosts.

Usually, the bridesmaids do the shower. But if your mom and sister beat them to the punch, or didnt ask them to co-host, then I can understand why they havent contributed anything.

Answer 4

ok i dont think they had to pay but thats what i think!

Answer 5

Well, no it's not tradition for the bridesmaids to pay, only for the MOH...BUT...a great bridesmaid would offer to help...whether monetarily or physically...And if the MOH, didn't ask for their help monetarily maybe they didn't know that it was needed.  

Answer 6

no the maid of honor pays for the shower. if the parents want they can help too but i don't think the bride maids have to pay. i am a bride maid in an upcoming wedding and the maid of honor ask each bride maids to put 500 dollars for the bride's shower!! which was crazy because i am also getting married and I'm on a budget. our dress is 290..makeup 45..shoes 50..shower 500..so in total we will be paying at least 1000 for a wedding!!! so i think bride maids should be responsible for a shower.

Answer 7

Is a bridal shower the same as a hen night?? If so then in Ireland usually the maid of honour organises and pays for the sash, mock veil L plates etc for the bride.  If all the guests are getting tshirts done up or goin for dinner or staying in hotel its usual that the bill is split between all guests.

Answer 8

it is the MOH who is responsible for paying for the party but usually the whole bridal party chips in to get you a large gift. ie. luggage for your trip or something liek that

Answer 9

It is usually the MOH so they aren't at fault.  BUT it would have been really nice of them to help.

See what they do for the bachelorette party - - they all should chip in for that.

Answer 10

I would have thought someone you felt highly enough to ask to be a bridesmaid would have offered to help pay for the bridal shower? I don't think it's tradition as such but it would be polite to offer, even if it was just a small amount its the thought that counts.

Answer 11

I was under the impression that your entire bridal party splits the cost...  not just your MOH

Answer 12

Did your mom or sister ask them to help out?  My mom & I planned my sister's shower & we paid for the whole thing (same when it was my shower).  We felt the bridesmaids were spending enough on thier dress, shoes & bachelorette party.