Bully help?

Question

You know how every school has the big mean popular group? The one at my daughters school has stick-thin girls in it. They came up to my daughter and started laughing. They said, "What size ARE you?" and my daughter just ignored them, but came home bawling. She got up with a fever today so I kept her home. She did tell on them, and the guidance person is a close friend of ours. Even though tomorrow is field day, she is still paranoid about seeing the girls tomorrow. I told her that they were told not to say anything to her, but she is still scared about what will happen. Any advice?

Answer 1

If they are stick thin as you say tell your daughter to lay the smack-down on them. The way I was raised is warning first action later. Time to take action. Since they are stick thin your daughter will obviously be stronger. Once she wins they will be nothing but dirt benethe her feet.

Answer 2

I think she should learn to ignore the "groups" and focus on her friends.

Answer 3

Kids will depend most heavily on their appearance for their popularity and self-esteem if they don't have anything else going for them. So regardless of her age, she needs to have an extracurricular activity to help her focus on achievement there vs. appearance. Shared, organized activities bring kids together for friendship and teamwork, and they can back each other up against bullies. It would be much easier if your daughter wasn't facing the stick-girls alone every day. Make sure the activity is talent focused and skill building and achievement oriented and not about appearance, obviously.

Be a positive role model for her, too. If you make disparaging remarks about other women's looks, you're ligitimizing the behavior of the bullies. If you do that kind of thing, now's a good time to stop, and to tell your daughter that you realize now how hurtful it is, and that the two of you will make a pact not to do that. Also, you can show her that you're not perfect looking (I mean, none of us ARE), and show her that you are a complete person and while you want to look GOOD, you don't have to look PERFECT to be HAPPY. If you don't believe that, then she won't either. So if you need help in that area, don't hesitate to talk to someone!

You might benefit from reading a couple of good books that I've read around this kind of thing--

Odd Girl Out by Rachel Simmons was excellent.

You might look at Girl Wars: 12 Strategies That Will End Female Bullying.

The classic that started the whole interest in this topic, of course, is Reviving Ophelia by Mary Pipher.

Tina Fey's movie Mean Girls is said to be excellent, although I haven't seen it myself. If it's age appropriate for your daughter, that might be a good thing for you to watch together.

It would help tremendously to know what AGE is your daughter. Specific advice appropriate for one age wouldn't be appropriate for another.

Answer 4

awwwww, i feel really bad for ur daughter

u need to tell her to be strong and go against those kinda girls.

tell her to avoid those girls during the field trip and just have fun and definitly stick to her friends. she is really vulnerable alone but those girls will leave her alone if she is with people.

once she succeeds on going around two days without bieng insulted again, then her confidence will definitely go up

Answer 5

I can understand. Does she have other friends with her that will be on the field trip, if yes then make sure she sticks around them and ignore the other girls. remind her that she doesnt need to be thin. I love my curves, they make me feel s**y and I know that those thin girls dont have that (maybe thats why they are jealous... they want to be able to show some assets but dont have any). I am not saying she should say this to the other girls, just be proud of what she has and those girls dont, and i am not saying thin girls arent pretty in their own way either. Everyone is unique. Good Luck and tell her to have fun tomorrow!

Answer 6

ok whenever the go to her again tell her to say this

"h excuse me PERV, what is your size i bet it is size TWo cuz you  and your freaky friends have to wear little girly dresses that explains it so why dont you anorexic weirdos run of to your carot stiks and stick thin momies and go diet together weirdos cuz i feel real sorry for you cuz your so stupid sad and skinny that you look like ugly rats that should be sleeping in the sewer so  p**s OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wow i did not now i cud come up with that :)

or in a less verbal matter tell the princable

Answer 7

If this were  me...it is easy.

I would walk into the school tomorrow morning - holding my daughters hand and head directly to the principles office and report the matter, make sure their teachers know and tell them all that you mean business and you will not stand for anyone harassing your daughter and if they don't do anything about it you will file a complaint with the school board.

Be proactive - stand by your daughter and most of all make your pressance known not in a letter or a phone call you need to go to the school right away!

...if it were me.

Good luck - d**n I hate bullies!

Answer 8

schools are useless for discipline - talk to the parents.

clubs etc should give more sociable peers for her.

Answer 9

MAKE SURE SHE NOS THAT SHE DOESNT HAVE TO BE THAT SIZE TO B COOL!!!! ITS UNHEALTHY!!!

I THINK SHE SHOULD TELL A COUNCILER AND

THE COUNCILER WILL HELP HER WITH WAYS

TO DEAL WITH IT

i

I REALLY HOPE THIS STOPS IT ISNT RIGHT1!!!!

***** THIS IS IMPORTANT**********

IF THE GIRLS NO THAT U REPORTED THEM TO THE PRICIPAL OR WHATEVER THE GIRLS COULD BE EVEN MEANER SO WATCH OUT FOR THAT TRUST ME I TRIED IT B 4!!!!