Bullying at school?

Question

My friends son is being involved in fights. Basically these boys say they want to fight and start fighting with him. He has been punched in the face and had three of his adult teeth lossened? (he is 8). My friend sent a note to school saying she condoned him hitting boys who hit him in self defence. I basically think he should just turn away and walk away and stay away from nasty little boys who want to fight. He is very fast and should be able to just run - what are your oppinions? Thanks

Answer 1

I agree with self-defense. The bullying going on with his adult teeth being loosened is very bad. Get the authorities involved ASAP. A 1994 graduate from Etowah HS in Woodstock, GA committed suicide as a result of being bullied constantly.

Answer 2

We had the same problem with our son at the same age.  Your friend needs to get really proactive.  She needs to go to the school and get the teacher and principals on board with what is happening.  Unfortunatley due to privacy laws they wont give you the kids names or parents info... but her son should be able to find out who it is, tell the powers that be at the school she wants a meeting with the parents and the kids involved... they HAVE to arrange it.  A lot of times that stops it.

My son is a bigger kid for his age.. not fat... gerthy.  To give you an idea... He is 10 now and is 5ft tall and has the same size foot I do.  He weighs 103lbs and you couldn't pinch any fat on him if you tried. He is just a muscley kid..always has been.  We always told him not to hit.. more for fear that he would hurt someone badly because of his strength. This opened him up to bullies.  When this happened to our son at 8yrs old I had gone through the school... and kept it all documented  btw....The parents were non receptive so I told him the next time this kid bullied him to hit him back.  Sure enough, the next day I get a call... he was literally backed into a corner on a play ground and was being taunted by this kid.  He wanted out and the kid wouldnt let him so my son kicked him in the shin as hard as he could and the kid fell.  An ambulance was called and I was phoned.  First I asked where the playground guards were and what did they do to protect my son.  I then produced the list of all the dates and times with names of who I spoke with about this kid and asked what else they expected my son to do.  I said that if my son got any punishment for his actions that I would see them in court to hold THEM responsible for their inactions.

My son was free to go and the kid never talked to him again.

I have three sons... the worst thing they can do is run.  They have to stand up for themselves or it will only get worse.  But... fighting is always a last resort.  Your friend needs to get on top of the school and the other kids parents... then and only then should it resort to fighting.  

My 10yr old.. the one who was bullied is dealing with a teacher right now that rolls her eyes and tells him to walk away... he has a lil girl in class that is just relentless.  She is not allowed to talk to half the class because parents have stepped forward and told the teacher to make her stop.  I went rounds with my son for about 6 weeks telling him to just ignore her and walk away (she isn't being physical) and finally I told the teacher to handle her or I would arm my kid with some phrases that she wouldn't appreciate to make this girl back off.  I also contacted the girls mother.. who was oblivious to what her daughter was doing.  Between the two the whole thing stopped in a matter of a couple days.

It is just my opinion... but I think your friend is right.  I mean... if you were wronged in some way.. for example... You are in line at the store and someone just cuts in front of you with a cart full of stuff - or - you are at the bank and drop some money and lean down to pick it up and someone else does and keeps it - do you run, say nothing?  h**l no.. you defend yourself.  If all we arm our kids with is 'run'  they will never know what else to do in the grown up world.

I hope this helped a lil.  It is just my opinion.

Answer 3

Has your friend taken any other action other than "sending a note to school"??  If my child was being beaten up to the point that his permanent teeth were loose, I would be involving the authorities!  Bullying is a VERY serious problem in schools today.  It's when it is just pushed aside and ignored that the victims sometimes fight back to the point of going on rampages and killing others.  If this is not taken care of when he is 8, then it will affect him later in ways I hate to even think about.

Answer 4

bullying is a real seriuos situation...i would go to the office and tell them what is going on with him and the kids...then have a teacher watch over him...or move him to another school..talk to the kids parents...

Answer 5

my question is what is the school doing?   really if this happening on school grounds then there should be some kind of intervention......and suspension and education to all these boys....at my sons elementary school there is a zero tolerance for any kind of violence....and when there is the parents are notified and if it persists there is a meeting with the parents and a discussion of the consequence of the kids actions.....

but I do agree with walking/running away but that won't solve the problem...talking it out or telling a teacher or someone in charge will be better...peer mediation can work too...we had it when I was in high school.....

Answer 6

i think he should fight back if someone hits him first. i DONT think he should just run away, then he becomes the nark or the wuss.