CAN THAT RELATIONSHIP work?

Question

my daughter and i recently had a bad fight over her lazyness and sloppy ways and she moved out, we have since made up but none of us in the family likes her 19 y/o boyfriend too much, she is 22 by the way, so she is older than him. he is cocky, and a bullshitter and he stuck his nose in when my daughter and i fought. now she says she and him are getting an apartment together, he has had 3 different jobs and been fired from all of them in the last 6 months, she is working full time and more stable. if truth be told, i hate this guy and do not think it will be a good relationship for her in the long run. i am so worried that she will marry him. he is not in school and works as a coffee server. but she just cant see what i see and her father sees.

what do you all think? will she eventually dump him? i mean, if they move in together, wont she find out pretty fast what he is truely like?

thanks

Answer 1

honestly, maybe she'll dump him maybe she won't.  

I do know one way to guarantee that she will marry him is for you to run him down to her every chance you get.

I know this will probably kill you, but just don't talk about him.  As long as she doesn't feel that she has to defend him (and her choice to be with him) to you then this will give her the freedom to see what a bum he is if he really is one.  But as long as you attack, attack, attack, she will shut down and ignore you while she defends him and tries to prove you wrong.

Answer 2

if he's that bad, then yeah she will probably see his true colors once they move in together.

however,if she doesn't, all you can really do is talk to her about how you feel/what you see. as much as you want to protect her, she is 22 years old and is going to do what she feels is right for her.(even if it may not be the most intelligent move in her life) she needs to learn by making her own mistakes

then all that's left is to be there for her when/if it all falls apart

good luck!

Answer 3

It can, that doesn't mean it will.

At this point, you've done your job raising your daughter, and especially if she left under less than ideal circumstances, you have limited to no ability whatsoever in influencing her in a positive way.

The best thing you can say about her boyfriend is nothing.

NEVER make a negative comment about him around your daughter, while your positive influence quota is nil, you can easily drive her into his arms by being negative about him.

If and when your around him, be polite, let him dig his own grave by being rude or saying something stupid, (from the sound of it, he will)

I know it's tough, sorry.

Luck

Answer 4

As a mom, I'm sure you are hoping that this relationship will not last. But as a mom and a friend, you have to stay out of her personal life. If not, you'll just make things worst for your relationship. Your daughter needs to fall in order to learn to pick herself back up.