So my parents have been fighting all my life, they say i should be used to it because its been happening for so long. but im not. it upsets and scares me every time it happens which is everyday about something or other. it gets really really really bad my dad hits my mum when it gets that bad im so depressed! i just cry and cry all the time. my parents have broken up so many times and weve moved so many times but mum always goes back to him. to the abuse i cant take it. recently this year my dad and i started fighting so much its really bad, every morning before school he likes to have a go at me for no reason other than to make me upset. it got awful he snapped, threw me against the cupboard and strangled me. i was so scared i thought he was going to kill me. i dont think he cares about me at all. i mean a father is meant to protect thier child not be the one to cause them so much pain everyday im scared,he is an abusing person ive seen it and now been through i try to avoid him as much i can im so angry with him that i refuse to talk to him and this is hurting me even more but i dont want to know him at the same time. i cant go back to being having a relationship with him when i know hes just going to do it again
mum comes home from work and takes out all her stress on me and my brother yelling at us for no reason and then she opens a bottle of wine, this worries me because shes a recovering alcoholic she used to drink almost a carton of beer by herself EVERYDAY! he liver starting getting bad and she almost drank herself to death. so it scares me every single time i see her with a a wine bottle. its even worse when she gets drunk, which is happening more and more often lately because she picks fights with dad. at school everyday i have people that i thought were my friends calling me emo and and teasing me behind my back it hurts alot because theyre meant to be friends of mine and theyre acting like total b*****s. Ive been cutting myself on and off for the last two years i started because my older brother hated me and kept calling me things and treating me like the dog of the world and it got worse when my nan and pop died within months of each other and recently been making myself throw up and getting drunk alot. i hate being at home everyday. its a horrible place to have to come back to after a day of dealing with "oh you emo **** go slit your wrists" at school. i think of death sometimes, different ways of killing myself. i cant get up in the morning and am missing so many days of school because i cant bring myself to get out of bed to face another stupid day.
i am 15 i dont know what to do anymore. i just want to run away half the time
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