Can you tell what you think?

Question

about these poems i wrote

http://www.quizilla.com/poems/7860939/just-when

http://www.quizilla.com/poems/7861306/just-when-version-2

thank you to everyone who answers

Answer 1

b-e-a-uuuuuutiful. keep it up. I know this is weird but keep the pain you feel with you to stay inspired. and go deeper into your pain. take out the blue part. and you've got skillz

Answer 2

wow pepsi man...their really good. You got talent. Come back to the WS soon :)

Answer 3

i like, i like! somehow i like the first version better though ;)

Answer 4

At first I liked the first one better, but now I like the second one better, it's deeper. Try to take out unnecessary words, then you'll have gold. It's a very touching poem, especially the last five lines.

Answer 5

very great i love both good job! i starred

Answer 6

I like it .  

Answer 7

They're great!

You've got talent pepsi man

I agree I like the first one better I don't know why though cause they're both brilliant =] xoxoxoxoxo

Answer 8

I love them!

The first is my favorite and my favorite part is

"just remember you will always be in my heart

even if you depart"

i love them they're beautiful

Answer 9

The first one I really like.  The second one was ok too but not as good as the first one!