Choosing a maid of honor

Question

I am getting married next year and have a problem choosing a maid of honor. I have two sisters and a friend who I've known since we were 2. I never actually asked my friend to be my maid of honor but she just assumed she was (probably since I was hers). The problem is I'd really rather ask one of my sisters do it. However, I know that she would be crushed and this would possibly ruin the friendship. I also don't want my sisters feelings to be hurt over it. What is the best way to handle this situation?

Answer 1

As my friend told me recently- if she is a true friend she won't be let it ruin your friendship.  She may be hurt at first- but it is your wedding and your choice.  Tell her you want her to be a part of the wedding but want to have X sister as the maid of honor and tell her why.  There has to be a reason you want her to be the maid of honor- so be honest and tell her and she will understand.  

Like maybe you need her to help run the show- and her being maid of honor would distract her and tell her that- tell her you need help with various things- that day and so you need her free to be able to help handle that.  My best friend isn't even a bridesmaid...but she is helping with all the planning and day of.  She may have been upset at first- but she is having a blast now b/c she gets to be a bridezilla for me.  

Answer 2

Sisters are a tricky situation, but I would choose the one I felt closest to (and is the most reliable) for the position of Maid of Honor, and have the other as bridesmaid and have her do a reading. As for the friend, she's married so she couldn't be a "maid," but she could be Matron of Honor. I am having a Matron of Honor and a Maid of Honor. That's how it was done traditionally, so it is perfectly acceptable.

Answer 3

The best way to handle it is to run off and elope. That way, neither will be the MOH so neither can feel jealous. Just go to one of those fancy 24 hour wedding chapels in Vegas one weekend and spend the rest of the week with your man naked.

Answer 4

Tell them that you don't want 1 specific maid of honor. You could say that you just want everyone to be bride's maids... or you could ask all 3 of them to be your maids of honor and assign them each different tasks. It really does take the pressure off by having a few maids of honor. And tell them why you chose to pick all 3 of them (because you love all of them and you didn't have the heart to choose just 1).

ANyway, good luck and congratulations!

Answer 5

You need to choose a person that is reliable and supportive. You see people on yahoo answers all the time having problems with MOH's that are completely unreliable, flaky or jealous. Pick the person whom you feel will be there for you, help you with wedding plans and generally keep you calm. Base your decision on that. Of course you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but in the long run you also don't want to make the wrong decision and end up stressing because of it. Go with what your instincts tell you and hope that all of them are able to accept your decision with grace.  

Answer 6

A good friend should uderstand that a sister would come first, without being so upset.

Answer 7

You might have two MOHs. Or you can ask your sister if you can opt out of this. Ask your sister to ask you to be your MOH. That way you can go to your friend and say "hey, my sister asked me if she could be my MOH and I couldn't tell her no... so I hope that's okay and doesn't hurt your feelings too much." And she'll probably be fine with it.

You need someone who lives near to you! Can't stress this enough! If they live in another state, they're no help. You also need someone who is going to take your wishes and desires into mind and reflect that in your bachelorette party, etc. And not do what THEY want to do. You need someone who is mature enough to think for themselves and someone who will be there at your side the entire time asking you what they can do to help.

I had none of these and it would've really helped.