Cold feet........ ????????????????

Question

i think im having cold feet ....im getting married this year INSHAllah and now i think tht its a bad idea...

im 18 ...the guy is great and he really loves me alot...but i dont and i m scared...

plz can u all help me?

give me some advice..

and i cant say no since my nikah has been alredy done...

Answer 1

Masha'Allah, marriage at a young age is wonderful. You have alredy had your nikah done, so at one point you were absolutely sure that you want to get married to this guy. Ok, now, you are probably nervous like any other newly wed and don't think the guys don't go through the cold feet and nervous chils as well. They do, maybe even more than we as females do.

I am engaged, didn't get my nikah done yet, but insha'Allah that is soon to come, and of course i get nervous! i tell my friends the same thing, that I fear the responsibility of being  wife, a GOOD, Muslim wife. I would hate to dissapoint my future husband, and you are probably thinking the same. Just think of it like this: both of you are new to it, both of you have no experience of being a spouse, lover, etc...so you have equal opportunity to become the best partners for eachother. Talk to him about it. He is already your husband, tell him how you feel. Maybe he can re-assue you and get you back on your feet Insha'Allah.

I hope your wedding goes well, with lots of blessings, and insha'Allah to start your life in a halal and blessed way. Ameen.

Take care sister, and Congrats on your marriage ;)

salam

Answer 2

Well what can you do?

Nikah has already been done and you will be getting married in no time.

.....Have fun!

Lol.

Answer 3

If you don't want to get married then you should let your parents know even if you've already done nikah it's ok. I'm sure your family would understand and I'm sure they wouldn't want you to  marry somebody you don't want to. I'm praying that you'll be okay.

Answer 4

If you do not love him at all and are scared of the responsibilities and fear that you cannot live up to them, then why marry him? Woulkd you rather live a life of fear and hate or wait a few years and find the right guy? I do not know why people are telling you to marry him. Now, if you loved him or had a little love for but you were scared, then you should marry him.I mean if hes great, then it would be wise.  But in the situation you are in, it would not be wise to marry. Buy the way, its great yo uare getting married at a young age! Also, if you are unsure about him, you can always find many eligible marridge partners then choose from one of them or him. So you can always just wait.

Just tell you parents and they can cancel everything. You do not have to marry this guy if you do not want to, There is nothing in Islam that says" even if you do not like the guy, you must marry him". I know you already said yes but you can still say no! There is still time if you tell you parents! His rents and your rents can have a talk, and inshallah they will understand.

Please tell your parents so they can do something. WOuld you rather not marry him now or divorce when you are already married, which might cost you money and would cause him heartbreak? What if you have a child then divorce? That will cost both of you money, and hardships.

Salam and I will pray for you.remember-there is still time left!

Answer 5

Every one goes through cold feet, some worse than others.  do you feel that you are not ready to make this kind of commitment or are you scared because this is a huge change in your life? if it is the latter than it is understandable, but if you feel you are not ready then tell your mom you want to wait a few years.

Answer 6

Happy Birthday!

Ok I believe

One should merry the one who loves him not the one whom he loves.....

So I guess you should just trust in God and accept his love if youare sure he is not a bad guy!

Best of luck!

Answer 7

Leave on to Allah- Allah loves you

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 8

Pray Istakhara. Once you do that Insha'Allah you will feel better. This is a normal feeling though since it is a big change but Insha'Allah you will be just fine and it will be one of the biggest blessings in your life.

Nichole

Answer 9

may Allah be with u sister

really read pakistani chap's answer to my question,it is very useful

Answer 10

You  go for marring this person bcz your nikah is done inshallah all things will be okk and you fall in love wid him dont scared

Answer 11

That's why teenagers shouldn't be getting married.

no offence..

Answer 12

Hey, refer to my answer

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

It's a question I answered on marriage yesterday.

Answer 13

Marriage will be what you make of it, but it is foolish to fear something you cannot avoid, such as fate. Life can be planned, but not predicted. That's like someone not wanting to drive, or get in a car, as everyday (in the UK) 11 people die on the roads of England.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person

EDIT: Also, remember there's no such thing as 'Mr right' or the 'Perfect partner' if all were looking for the perfect partner, we'd remain bachelors or single for the rest of our lives. Just like life, a married life will also have its ups an downs, but that's where the word 'compromise' comes in. Stay true to yourself, and true to your deen (religion) and you can't go wrong. Having said all this, marriage is not a must, nor is it obligatory, or farz, if you're such a pessimist, then don't get married.

EDIT: All girls who are saying 'men are indecent etc' you're no doubt speaking from experience. Just because you've been treated like s**t in your pre-marital relationships, doesn't mean to say it will be the same when you're married. Come on, what do you expect from these illicit pre-marital relationships? No (Muslim) man will ever have intimate respect for a girl whom he dates.