Conflict btw Friend and Training?

Question

I am training a 5 o/y gelding Appalossa in jumping and barrel racing.

Every time I get him out to train my friend wants to ride him.

I allow her to ride him over small x's, just once. But then she cont.s jumping him over things I haven't worked with him and don't want him to.

Same goes with barrels. She is more expienced in gaming so she pushes him to hard. I tell her to just trot and go wide but she kicks and whips him.

Then every time I do something she tells me that I am doing it wrong.

I don't want her to make bad habits out of him. She is impatience and rushes things to fast.

My trainer doesn't like how she rides. She has terrible balance and grabs the horn just for trotting and cantering.

What can I do about this sitution?

Answer 1

omg i have the same prob. i'm 14 my friend is 13 and she thinks she knows it all what you need to do is say if you can't ride my horse the right way get the h**l off thats what i did and my prob. slowed down a bit but i'll tell you when she crossed the line she was lunging my 8 month preg. mare and whiped her and made her go over a 4 ft. pile of steping stones

it wasn't even a jump,she was only 13hh. never jumped in her life was preg. and i told her not to even use the lunge whip because she was abused by her previous owner and will freak out.

so i told her to get the f*** off my property if she touches my horses with out permision again.i'll  beet her as with that lunge whip.

EDIT:yes you should most definatley talk to your trainer about everything.

Answer 2

well is he your horse if he is tell her to get off or stop what ever you dont like shes doing and if your training him i wouldnt let anyone ride him but yourself or some one who will Liston to you the only time i would have some one ride him is to see how he does... just my oppion hopes it helps

Answer 3

Unfortunately, the only thing I can come with as a solution is to stop letting your friend ride your horse.  She's not really a friend if she doesn't respect your wishes.  She is going to ruin your horse, teach him bad habits, hurt him or hurt herself the way she's behaving.  Next time, tell her she can't ride him until you have finished his training (in about 4 years!)

You have to put your horse before your friend.  If you can't do that, sell your horse and find another hobby.

Answer 4

Well heres something new just tell her straight no if she asks why just say you dont like he way she is treating your trainers horse. Only a real friend would understand.

Answer 5

Since he isn't your horse and your trainer seems to not be asking her to not ride the horse there is not much that you can say or do unless your trainer asks her to not ride the horse.

Also, I'm sure that your trainer allows this other rider to ride this horse because sad to say, it is sometimes the worst rider to make a horse into a GREAT horse. It teaches the horse to become more tolerant because everyone rides differently, no two people are going to ride the same. And not to hurt your feelings, I'm sure your trainer has you riding this horse to season this horse, NOT to train him(go ahead give me thumbs down) so I'm almost certain that this trainer polishes this horse up after you both have ridden him . I'm pretty sure that the faults you can find in someone else's riding the same applies for you, as there is no perfect rider.

As for the "throwing off the training", if a horse is going to lose what he's learned in 3 years from a silly little girl riding him for an hour or so 2-3 times a week, then this says more for the horse being unsound in the mind than it does for the rider that made him that way. I have several horses that you can still put the sloppiest rider on and they will tow them around with the reins so tight you see teeth the whole time and the head so high and the white of eyes. And right after that you can put a little kid or a more seasoned rider and the horse will do just fine.

Training has a lot to do with how a horse will perform in the future, but even if you have the best training in the world paired with a horse that is unsound in the head, the horse can never guarantee a win.

AND- who on earth, I mean, where on earth is this "oh so responsible" trainer of yours during the time that a FREAKING 12 year old is giving lessons? If I were any of your parents I would be moving ya'll to different, more reputable stables that don't let little kids teach horse back riding lessons to beginners.

I can just see this link being posted on fuglyhorseoftheday.

Tsk Tsk. A child should never be teach ANYONE how to ride, and if there are grownups around during this time, what the h**l are they doing- shooting up drugs? drinking?

I can see a horse wreck waiting to happen just from you posting this question.

Answer 6

If the horse belongs to your trainer, and your trainer doesn't like the way she handles the horse, why don't you suggest that the trainer should speak to your friend and solve this?

Answer 7

OMG DONT LET HER RIDE YOUR HORSE!!!

I would TOTALLY tell her off. My friends KNOW I will not tolerate someone messing with my horse. She is too fragile and anything other than what I've been doing would kill her chances of improving. DO NOT LET HER RIDE YOUR HORSE!

Answer 8

If your friend is causing issues the owner/your instructor has the right to kick her off the property and discontinue the lease.  Thats what a responsible person would do.  and when your friend wants to ride, simply tell her no, this horse is in traiing by you, not her, as the trainier you need to take charge and handle things.

Answer 9

Training a horse is a long and hard climb....it goes good and then can go bad real quick. When a horse is being trained it shud only have 1 person on it...if not while its learning it will confuse your horse and teach him bad habits may even cause anger. You need to let her know kindly since she's ur friend that u do not approve of her training and think its best if she does not ride your horse until he's ready for sumone else. If this doesn't go well have your trainer talk to her.

Answer 10

I'm having a hard time understanding why you even let her on in the first place. If this horse is your responsibility she shouldn't even be involved. Most diffidently talk to your instructor about what's going on. I can understand that you don't want to fight with your friend, If you tell your instructor and have her talk to this girl instead of you confronting her on your own she hopefully won't have hard feelings against you.

Answer 11

What is a 12 year old girl doing attempting to train a horse by herself, without adult supervision?? Is she the trainer's daughter, by any chance? Maybe that's why she's allowed to do this- but she is jeapordizing her own safety, not to mention yours and your friend's, with her tactics, which are VERY DANGEROUS.  You need to speak with your trainer immediately, sweetie- and tell her what is happening. This has got to stop before someone gets really hurt, or even KILLED, by this girl. This girl KNOWS NOTHING about horse training, and very little about riding- if she has to hang onto the horn when she canters, she needs to be in lessons herself, not trying to train a horse for something she knows nothing about.

You also need to tell your parents what is going on at the barn, and ask them to speak with your trainer about it. Your trainer is being irresponsible by allowing this to happen- if this girl gets hurt, HER parents are all too likely to sue the stable, and your trainer could be held liable for medical costs and other damages. Likewise, if YOU get hurt because of this kid's actions, YOUR parents can ALSO SUE- so I'd get with it, and do this as soon as you can. Meanwhile, ignore this girl when she criticizes you- she doesn't what she's talking about, and if you ignore her long enough, she'll get bored and quit.

This is a sad situation- and if nothing is done, this little girl is going to get seriously hurt. Good luck.

Answer 12

some ideas you could tell her that this is your horse and you shoud be able to ride and train him BY YOUSELF! and if that dosen't help you could then limmet her time on you horse. but all together the best thing for you to do is to try and train your horse when she/he isn't around

good luck!

Answer 13

Obviously you have talked to her and she doesn't care about your wishes.  Tell her you would like to train him yourself, your way.  You have a trainer and don't need another one, especially a 12 year old?!.  Don't let her ride him anymore unless she rides him like you ask.  If you can't talk to her about it, talk to your trainer and ask her to do it.  You don't have to be mean about it, be honest, be who you are, and protect your horse.  If your 'friend' can't accept that, well, you know. (Not a friend anyway).

Add: Not your horse makes a huge difference.  All you can do is talk to your trainer and hope she agrees.  Don't let her ride when you get him out, you got him out to ride right? YOU ride him.  Make her get permission from the owner and get him out herself.

Answer 14

If this isn't your horse, I would definitely tell your trainer your concerns. I know you just want to do right by the horse so let your trainer know and see what she says. The problem with using training horses is that you don't have the last say. Have you thought about getting your own horse? Is that a possibility?