Could Fiancee Have Cold Feet?

Question

My fiancee and I have been together for 3 years and living together for about 2.5 of those 3 years. We just got engaged last christmas and everything seemed fine. She was in the hype and getting wedding magazines and watching wedding shows, looking for photographers and everything. The wedding date is not until 2010 but since we are university students we need to start getting some plans going because we wont have time next year with all of our school work. Recently, she told me that she was feeling very "trapped" in the relationship and felt alot of pressure and decided that she wanted a "break" just to get her thoughts back in order. She still tells me that she loves me and she knows that she wants to be with me but she just needed some time to herself right now. Could it be that she is starting to get cold feet about the wedding plans and stuff like that?

Answer 1

she is probably overwhelmed with school, planning, and seeing the cost of it all.  Let her take that break, give her time to breath, and maybe suggest couples couseling.  

Answer 2

Nervous about a big step....Or met a guy in marketing class...

Answer 3

She's having second thoughts, I could see that she was overwhelmend if the wedding was this year, but overwhelemed and teh wedding isn't until 2 YEARS????

Your relationship is in trouble and she needs time off (in women lingo, that means that she wants to see other people and live her life accordingly to her age)

Good luck

Answer 4

I would assume so yes. She is dealing with school as well. And I don't mean this offensively at all, I really hope you don't take it that way but 3 years, and living together for 2 1/2 isn't really that long, so she might be feeling a little rushed you know? Maybe she just wants to take some time because she feels it is all happening so quickly, even though you aren't getting married for 2 years. I would let her know you love her and respect her wishes and I would definitely give her the time, she will really appreciate that.

Good Luck!!

Answer 5

What wedding plans?  You guys set the wedding for YEARS from now - and you two have already lived together for several years.

She has no reason to believe one is forthcoming in my humble opinion.  

----

when a young lady lives with a man for a couple years - i can guarantee you her parents, grandparents and every single relative she has is going to have a little chat with her about this -

then young lady comes back to family all excited - HE PROPOSED......

so family is happy, everyone is happy.....young lady estatic and all into planning the wedding.   and the talk about when it should happen gets going - and the "when" is yet another couple years.   let's see - you proposed about a year ago, she got all exited - and then realized that wedding wouldn't be for another 3 years.....that about right?  

think of what a jerk she looked like when she explained this to her family - they probably said "honey, he isn't going to marry you.   he can't claim it is because you two are in school as you two ALREADY live together.....you are either just going to accept that, or move on and find a guy who can really commit"

i can guarantee you i WOULD say that to one of my kids - have 3 grown ones, and 5 grandkids over here....and have seen similar situations so many hundreds of times....couple end up living together 10 years, 2 babies along the way - yet still the guy won't marry her.  

what he eventually tells her is "if it isn't broke - don't fix it, i am happy with things the way they are"...of course - that isn't till "after school",  "i just got out of school - i need to pay off some of the debt",  "i need to get a new car and house first", "you know - we really are happy the way things are" (meaning him)....then finally "if it isn't broke - don't fix it"    

i have seen exact same script passed out to women over and over and over again.   someone just filled your girlfriend in is all.

her family told her "a man isn't going to buy a cow if he can get the milk for  free".   that saying has been around for hundreds of years - because men just don't marry women if they will put up with them endlessly putting it off a couple years down the road....

If you want to actually keep this lady - offer to elope w/ her this weekend....

I would feel trapped too - in a relationship that was going nowhere - just preventing me from finding one that was.  I can bet you if someone asked her best girlfriend or her mother - that is exactly what she said.......probably verbatim.

Answer 6

Sounds like her world is moving too fast. She needs to breathe and make sure she's doing the right thing. Honestly, if you want to keep her.....step back and let her figure things out and get some rest. Chances are she'll be okay and back to planning the wedding before long. Meanwhile, tell her that if you can do anything to help her, just let you know. That you know she's been so busy and hasn't had time to think. Then let her have space to think. She'll be ready when she's had time to think things through.  

Answer 7

It's Normal. She Probably Just Needs To Clear Her Head & Realize You're The One For Her.

A Lot Of Women Question Their Relationship When It Comes Down To The Crunch. But A Large Majority Of Women Do Marry Their Man.

=)

Answer 8

Very probably, and it's very normal. Usually at least one of the couple will get nerves because it is a very big commitment - and for someone to just stop and think isnt a bad thing because you dont want to make a mistake.

I'd give her some space if you can.