Cuddlers vs. non-cuddlers :)

Question

my son rarely wants to cuddle (3.5 months).. he's soo active. even during some feedings hes squirming and thrashing his arms and legs so much that i have to keep putting the bottle back in his mouth...

but when it comes to sleeping, he wants to be with me and only me. he will sleep sooo much longer if he's in my bed than if he's in his crib. why is this?

what do "cuddlers" grow up to be like and vise versa? is it just a matter of being independent? i read something about a developmental disorder associated with babies who stiffen during feedings (mine has bad reflux, so i'm not worried) but is that also true?

Answer 1

I think that's a boy for ya :]

My son is six months old and has NEVER liked to be held in the "cradle position" he's constantly trying to get something or into something, and feeding are the same way now he goes for the spoon though.

He ONLY wants to be held close if he's very tired and wants me to sing to him, but other than that he's out and about doing his thing or if I'm in reach of something that he can get when I'm holding him.

Answer 2

My 8 month old daughter is not a fan of being cuddled unless she's not feeling good.  She just wants to play, she'll play with us and all, but shes not the type to sit on your lap or she'll throw a fit.  When I was a baby my gma used to hold and cuddle me 24/7, as I got older I was a very dependent child and very whiny.  My younger sister was like my daughter.  She was independent and did not liked to be cuddled.  She was outgoing and independent as she got older.  Now im not saying thats the difference between your son and someone else, thats just what I've seen.  As for disorders, I think your son stiffens because he wants down, it has nothing to do with any disorders.

Answer 3

I'm baaaaaaaaaack!  Well...you asked a great question here.  And since you are aware that I have 3 kids...let me tell you how they all were from birth on.  Anthony was a cuddler.  Loved laying in bed with me...loved being held by me...loved anyone holding him really.  He never EVER squirmed to get away.  Perhaps its because I he was used to me holding him and he knew he was safe in my arms.  LOL...You are well aware of how his is now.  total mama's boy.  And yet somewhat independant.  However, his development as far as feeding himself and drinking out of cups and things like that are a bit delayed.  I held melanie a lot less...and let her learn things on her own.  She is starting to take steps here and there...but I let her do it on her own.  I don't force her to do it if she doesn't want to.  Anyway, she squirms like h**l when i hold her and she loves doing things on her own.  She puts herself down for naps.  She only wants a bottle at bed time so she pretty much phased herself out of those.  And she feeds herself solid foods and as you know, skipped jarred food all together.  Though she does want to be held when she's super tired, she does great on her own.  I think Dyl will be just like her.  And Evan...well lets face it he's going to be another mama's boy.  He screams for his dad and finds comfort in me.  lol...perhaps its a mother's touch.  Or just the simple fact that when a baby is fussy...a mother remains her cool and the baby can sense that she's calm and then calms down too.  Lol...now bring that chubby bunny over so i can play with him.

Answer 4

my son has never been cuddly either.  he would rather be on the floor trying to crawl or grabbing for something or playing rather than cuddling in my arms.  he is just too busy, he has things to do, places to go, people to see!

he is very active and has always been this way. i just think he is more independent but he does always want me there with him all the time, like watching him do things.  

he is 7 months.

Answer 5

my son is EXACTly the same way...he is so d**n nosy too, hes 7 months now and has been like this from a month old, my husband is so not cuddly either and i used to bother him to cuddle with me and now he bothers the baby to cuddle with him and he wont!!

needless to say, hes just like his daddy!

Answer 6

My daughter breastfed, so I didn't have to deal with bottle challenges.  But she still sleeps/crawls into bed with me.  She has a temperment that just needs a little more security by being with me.  She is almost 3 yrs now and wanting to be a huge helper and doing things on her own.  

I think that it's not just if a child is a cuddler or not, but how the parent raises the child.  Understanding the different temperments is a good start for understanding your child.

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