Custody rights questions?

Question

Ok heres the deal me and my fiance fight constantly... we got into a argument the other day and he said ill see you in court im gonna get custody of our son... I dont beleive he should have custody I WANT MY BOY, i carried him for 9 months i am the babys mother, he needs his mother our son is 5 months... I do everything for the baby i buy his formula i buy his diapers his babyfood, ect... i do everything except on a minor occasion his dad with bath him but thats only been once, our son wont eat for his dad or anyone else other than me... my fiance said ill get custody of him cuz im working... hes been to prision for 6 years in his past 2.5 years ago... hes alot better now dont get in trouble but thats besides the point when i was prego we got into a arguments and he said if you leave me ill kidnap our son.. but from what i say thats considered hear say cuz i have no evidence other than me saying i heard him say it ( BUT HE DID ) ... i mean hes a good dad but i want custody of him.. how does that work, i was recently laid off and hes working, i do everything for our baby.. if we where to split and we go to court wouldnt i get him???? how does that work? I heard they dont take a child away from there mommy unless shes proven unfit.. right? and what makes a mother proven to be unfit? I know im not just asking... our son is my world and i want him if we do split... so how often does the man usually get custody in court and why is that decision usually made.... please help me.. i want to make sure i get my boy..

Thanks everyone its hard times and my boy is all i have.

Answer 1

You MUST speak to a lawyer as soon as possible!  The only person who can answer any of this is an attorney because the decisions can vary based on your jurisdiction.  Mom getting full time custody is not always for sure any more, the judge is supposed to determine what is best for the child.  Take careful records of all that your son's dad says or does that is improper.  Keep copies of all threatening emails or phone messages.  Also, remember, a child needs his dad too.

Answer 2

The mom always keeps custody of the son. Unless you're a bad mom and your fiance has proof of that then he may be accountable to keep full custody of your son. But other than that the mom always keeps custody of the son.  

Answer 3

He wouldn't be awarded full custody of your son unless you were proven unfit and just because you're temporarily out of employment doesn't make you unfit.  Because of his history this may hurt his chances as well. Consult w/an attorney or the attorney general and see what steps you need to take to get custody & child support established if that's the direction you choose to go, especially if you two are no longer going to be together.  I hope everything works out for you.

Answer 4

Get a laywer and get into the court system as quickly as possible. To be proven an unfit mother, you would have to be a prostitute or a drug user or something like that. And even in those cases, it's still pretty difficult to take a child away from their mother. (A friend of my mom's fought for custody of his two kids - it took him over 5 years to get custody when their mother had a meth lab in their house!)

And even though nobody else witnessed him saying he would kidnap your son, it doesn't matter. As long as you let the lawyer and judge know what he said, and that you are fearful he would actually do it, they can put in a request for supervised visitation. Meaning that he would not be allowed to be alone with your son at all.

They RARELY ever give sole custody to any parent. But really, primary custody is in my opinion the same thing. For instance - I have shared custody of my son with his dad.. but I am the primary custodian, meaning my son lives with me. The only reason they do it that way is because the court system (at least here in Florida - not sure where you are) believes that every parent should have a say in how a child is raised, and that "sole custody" takes that away.

Here, there is a program called Heart of Florida Legal Aid Society. They provide free lawyer services (if you qualify). I would check to see if there is something like that where you live. They do everything for you. They will draw up all the papers, serve your ex all of his, set up the court dates, etc. So don't worry. There is help out there.

And also - you need to get yourself together. Find a job, get your own palce, etc.. so that your son's dad will have no ground to stand on when it comes to potentially saying anything bad about you as a mother or a person in general.

Good luck!