Dating while seperated?

Question

If I date someone while seperated is it an affair?

Answer 1

If your separation is going to go through with a divorce then not really.  But sort of yes because you are still married.

Answer 2

i would like to know the answer to this question, too.  in my case, i have decided not to date anyone, going so far as to not even talking to anyone who i might be interested in for fear of putting them in a bad light.  then there is the option of staying celibate for the rest of my life because that is how much i loved the person i used to be with.  ugh.

Answer 3

I think if you're legally separated then its fine BUT I'd check your local laws just to be sure because it can be used against you if you're not careful and aware of the local laws.

Answer 4

The laws in each state can affect this answer.  Seperation is one thing, and divorce is another.

Since you're only seperated, my opinion is only YOU know that answer for yourself.  Ask yourself why are you seperated.  Seperation is supposed to be time apart from each other to take a look at the relationship and FIX things that need to be fixed, not really to date someone else.  If your goal is 100% to reconcile with your wife, then why would you even date?  Sounds selfish.

However, in some states there is a mandatory waiting period before a divorce can be final.  So many times people waiting for the divorce to be (final)  start dating since they know they are not going to reconcile with their spouse.  I believe that is okay and would not hold that against anyone for making the choice to date in that situation.

I personally believe that there are a lot of couples that are ALREADY divorced from each other, (LONG BEFORE) they even file for divorce because they no longer love each other, and really the only thing they are waiting for is the (legal signature of the judge).

Answer 5

Yes. Until you're divorced, you're still legally married. Dating/having s*x with someone while you're married= affair.

Yeah, I know I just offended someone who was in the same position as you. But seriously, can it not wait the extra 2 months?

Answer 6

Depends how the seperation occurred. If your wife wants a divorce then it is fine. If the seperation is simply a time apart because of a bitter disagreement, no way.

Last but not least, if you are planning on dating only a week or month after the seperation, you probably should have called it quits a long time ago. Anyone who does not feel the pain of loss during this time was not real with their feelings in the first place.

Answer 7

Being seperated is the 1st step in a divorce.  So if you are both not going to be together, love the one your with.  

Answer 8

Technically, yes.  Feeling dangerous now?  Tonight, why don't you have your dinner out on the porch instead of in front of the TV.  Woo hoo!

Answer 9

Depends if you and your soon-to-be ex decide on ground rules while you're apart.  Having just been separated for 6 months, i would advise against it.  We're trying to reconcile and are back together and I've already caught her contacting the guy she was dating while we were apart.  Despite her promises to me that she wouldn't.  It's not a good idea to even separate in my opinion, worst thing I could've agreed to (wasn't my idea).  You can't fix what's wrong if you're apart.  You'll just go mad thinking about who they're with and what they did with that person.  If you're the one that wants the separation, then you probably don't give a c**p, just know that there are repercussions to seeing other people.  I'm a tad jaded though being on the receiving end of things

Answer 10

Just be completely honest with whomever you're dating.

Divorces can often take a long time.  Depending on the state there can be a 6month waiting period even after the filing is complete.  If the separation is a path to divorce, there's no absolute need to wait months or even years before the legalities are complete.

Answer 11

it is if you plan to get back with your partener ! is it over ?? or just seperated for for a bit of space?? if you love the partner dont do it  

Answer 12

if you're tihnking about dating then it's not longer seperation,  it's the road to a divorce. Before involving a third party, talk to your soon to be ex and explain that you want a divorce. once that's done you can date freely

Answer 13

If you are separated, shouldn't your focus be elsewhere on issues and NOT on dating? If you are still legally married, its cheating!

Answer 14

It could have its consequences. Why talk to your partner and see what they think. That way all is fair. Or if you find out they're seeing someone, go for it.  

Answer 15

If you are still legally married then dating someone else would be commiting adultery and would most certianly complicate any reconciliation for your marriage!  I would strongly recommend you using your seperation time to try and improve yourself and try to save your marriage.  The last thing you need to be worrying about is complicating your life with yet another relationship........you havn't even figured out why your current relationship isn't working and you don't want to take that bagage any further anyway!

Answer 16

I would say it isn't a good idea. If you are separated it seems the reason would or should be to work on things with your spouse. If your separated and your marriage is so far gone that you are asking this, maybe it is time for a divorce.

You haven't left any details surrounding your reason for separation so it is hard to to answer well. Logic says, work on it and keep dating and stuff out of the mix, or just divorce and do as you please.

Dating, in my book, if I was separated and trying to work things out would most definitely be cheating, even if you did not sleep with the person you dated.

Answer 17

yes, you took a VOW, no matter how u rationalize it, it's adultery.  if ur only separated, u need time alone anyway to heal, jumping into another relationship is not going to help.  do yourself a favor and deal with your marraige first before thinking about cheating. if children are involved, you definately want to wait, that's a whole other problem

Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.

Answer 18

Nope

Answer 19

This can be hard for any person that is separated. My husband has left me twice in the 3 years we've been married. The first time was for 8 months and I never dated any other man. This time just happened recently, and I still will not date anyone until I am divorced. Separated is still married. I know it can be tough, like it was for me for 8 months, but if I had wanted to be with another man, I would have filed for divorce. If you are worried about doing the right thing, just wait a little longer for the divorce to be final.

Answer 20

Oh most definitely.

Look up Fred (Mrs Tiggiwinkle) and see what a mess of a life he's made.

Answer 21

my ex gf is doing this atm it ****  

Answer 22

Yes i think it is, it changes everything, people separate because they are having problems, once one of those people start sleeping with someone they are on the road to divorce, until they are divorced they aren't free to sleep with someone else. One thing to bare in mind, if this person is prepared to sleep with you while they are still married, or you are still married, they obviously have no problem sleeping with a married person, how do you know they won't do it again, to you? The right thing to do is to wait until all parties are divorced and free.

Answer 23

Yes. If you are planning on a divorce, then wait until its final. Otherwise, your having outside relationship in your marriage which equals an affair.

Answer 24

Yes, it is an affair. In so many cases, ppl seperate because one or both cheat. If you decide to get back together, the person who cheated will be soiled and used up by their mate. Then the problem comes alive again. When you're married, you don't want anyone touching your spouse, so when you've been apart, have an affair, then perhaps reunite, how could you ever feel that they are yours again? They're used goods now.

Answer 25

Technically it can be considered an affair, but if you're wanting to date while separated, then it sounds like you've already made your mind up on divorce anyway. I would just urge caution in this situation...my husband and I went through the same thing and ended up back together after being separated for a year and a half. He also dated while we were separated and now he has a 5 year old son and we'll be dealing with his crazy ex-girlfriend for the next 13 + years. Make sure that being separated/divorced is really what you want first!