Daughter hates going to daycare?!?!?!?

Question

Whenever I take my daughter(2) to daycare in the mprnings she starts crying uncontrollably for about 30mins. I know she hates either me or her mother leaving her but how can I get her to stop crying every morning? When I get their to pick her up she is always playing with the other kids and enjoying herself.

Answer 1

Hi there ... well ... for me ... I am a stay at home mom and I have seen that with my two children. Now I have not saying that the daycare you are taking her to is doing anything bad in any way ... but there ARE daycares out there that arent the best as well. If the child cries sometimes in the mornings when you drop her off expecially if it is still new to her, then it is her just getting used to it because of course she misses you both. However, there are times too that she has bad experiences at the daycare (is it a faility or at someone's home?) that may make her do that. For me and mothers I have spoken to, sometimes it is because she simply does not like it there. Children develop friendships and dislikes people too even though they are young and maybe they just dont like a caretaker or how they are treated. So talk to your daughter, as her about the teachers and the other children about what she likes and does not like. You might find there is nothing at all wrong and that it may just be her ... or sometimes you might find out someone did something wrong to her that makes her not want to go back again. Communicating is the best key of course because ny the time they are 2, they have rather good communication skills already. And watch how she acts with you if she has picked up anything bad, sometimes that is an indication someone at the daycare may have done something to her. For me, as a parent, just see what your gut feeling is ... if you feel that the daycare just is a little wierd or you just have a bad feeling about it, maybe you simply need to get a new daycare or caretaker for her. Because usually gut feelings are always right! Hope this helps! Liste to you and your wife's gut feeling because our daughter is counting on mommy and daddy to make the right and the best decisions for her.

Answer 2

My son(3) ws like that. I think every child goes through that stage. Don't worry, it won't last too long.

Answer 3

I am a teacher in a toddler room. Most of our newer children cry when they get dropped off. We have one that cries all day. And I do mean all day! When you get there, don't hang around. This only makes her think you aren't going to leave at all. I know it is hard to hear her cry, but leaving quickly really does help. Just set her down or give her to the teacher, give her a hug and a kiss, tell her you will be back soon and you love her. It will not work right away, but with time she will learn that you are coming back and she does not need to worry. She is really just frightened that you aren't coming back. So always reassure her that you will be back.And, if there is something or someone there that she really likes, take her to it right away. Trust the teachers, they have been through it before and will take excelent care of your daughter.

Answer 4

This is a phase, and will pass with time.  

You may want to try getting there a little early, giving her time to go interact with other kids.

She'll start playing, forget you're there, and you have the chance to leave.

You'll be gone long before she realizes it, if she even does.

If you or your wife hang around, trying to pursude her to stay, it will just make it worse.

Answer 5

Your daughter should get over it. I remember in kindergarden, (I don't know how I remember), that kids in my class would scream and cry because they didn't want to go to school, but a week afterwards they got used to school.

Answer 6

My lil sister did that, shes 4 now. she still goes all shy and that when im with mum when we drop her off. when we pick her up it takes 10 mins too get her to stop playing and come home.

she's been in daycare since she was 4months old. Shes been too two different daycares in her 4 years aswell. your daughter will get used to it. she just doesnt want to leave mummy and daddy.  We tell my sister that "mummy and sissys arnt aloud to go to daycare coz there too big and daycares a special place for little kids too play" she listens and goes with no problem.

Answer 7

Is she crying for 30 minutes at Daycare after you leave? Give your daughter a big hug and kiss and tell her you will pick her up in the afternoon.  Hand her off to one of her teachers. Her teachers should be able to comfort her and distract her. Some crying is totally normal at that age.

Answer 8

What's wrong with her crying?  I love how in other cultures, people just accept that children cry.  We Americans get all flustered and upset, which only exacerbates the situation.  They don't always know what's best for them, they can't understand the greater ramifications of your choices, and the end, they won't hate you, they'll get it.  The best thing you can do is not get all upset when she's crying.  Stay relaxed and at ease.  Smile at her, kiss her, remind her of what fun she'll have, and above all, DO NOT FEEL GUILTY.  If you want to change your lives and pull her out of daycare, do it.  If not, follow this advice and don't look back.

Answer 9

What you can do, is be strong, and reassuring. Give your daughter a hug and  kiss, tell her you love you, and say bye.

When she starts to cry, tell her, She's going to have a good day, and you'll be back to pick her up later. THEN LEAVE.

If you do this, after about a week, the crying should go down to 3 to 5 minutes. (It could take longer)

The worst thing you can do hang around until she is done crying. This teaches your daughter that if she cries mommy doesn't leave, and daughter gets what she wants.

Don't sneak out of the classroom either, when you daughter is playing.

It's like when you are talking to someone and turn around and they've walked out of the room. We all find it annoying. You daughter does as well.

I would not worry that there is a problem at the daycare. As long as she is happy when you pick her up.

Think of it through your daughters eyes. She loves you and feels safe. She also get one on one attention from you.

In daycare she has to be part of a group. There is lesson one on one attention, and less comfort. (although the teacher do provided comfort, they have to do this for 20 kids, not just one.)

Answer 10

I worked in a daycare center for two years, & I experienced this so often, it became normal for me. We saw kids that would absolutely have a FIT when their mom/dad/uncle/whomever left them there, & then when it came to snack time, or we pulled out their favorite toy, or they saw their best friend, they calmed down instantly & (I don't mean this in a bad way what so ever) forgot about you for the time being. I was relieved when you said "she is always playing with the other kids and enjoying herself", because then this is probably the case.

If you're still concerned, talk to your daughters teachers, & express your concern. Since they are with your child every day, I'm sure they know her habits & maybe how to help.

Good luck, & try to think of all the fun your daughter is having, not just the 30 minutes at drop off!!

Hope this helped!!

Answer 11

How long has she been going to childcare. This could be a phase connected to seperation anxiety.

This might not stop the crying altogether but try making a routine when you drop her off.

The main things you need to do are to say a definite good-bye to her (basically say bye bye (name) I have to go work/school have a good day at childcare.) - don't worry too much about giving her a time when you'll be back because she probably won't understand it yet. After saying bye leave the room. - If you have to talk to a staff member do it before you say bye as your daughter will percieve you saying bye and then staying in the room as not being an actual bye - and do not try to sneak out of the room - this will make it harder for her to adjust as she will have no idea what's going on with you.

If possible try to put some time aside once there to play or do something - this could be as simple as getting her bag and outer clothes (jacket, hat, etc) put in the right place or something like doing a puzzle with her.

Another thing which may help is leaving something of yours with her - it doesn't have to be something which you currently use (for instance it can be the key to an old locker or an old library card) so she knows you are coming back. Children think differently to adults. An adult would think of course they're coming back "I'm here and they love me" whereas a child will see it as "they have to come back as their keys are here"

Answer 12

Daycare is great don't get me wrong I'm all for it, but check and make sure the daycare workers have been background check, finger printed etc. I worked in  a daycare and have experienced first hand workers being downright mean to the children. Also I was not finger printed or anything. In no way am i saying this is what is happening, but it's not wrong to take precautions. It looks like to me that she just feels sad for a minute, because she's laughing and playing but maybe talk to her, ask her about her favorite teachers, teachers that are mean, maybe she'll give you a clue.

Answer 13

As an old childcare worker i have seen this lots but what ive found is most centre's dont have the right care they say they do.Every centre in the entire of queensland i have worked at i would not recommend to anyone even centres in victoria i wouldnt recommend what i do reccomend though is a nanny who will look after her in your own home.She will then be comfortable in her own space with her own toys and after a few days you will find her and the nanny will be great together.Do a background check on them first though!

Answer 14

Separation problems. Most kids that age have that kind of problem. It's not easy to leave them but when you leave they do better. She has to learn that you can't always be there and you have to be strong enough to let her go.

She just needs to be with other kids more often than just daycare.