Daycare situation, what to do?

Question

So..I recently put my 3 month old baby in daycare because I had to return to work. The lady that is watching him runs a daycare out of her home and also watches about 6 other children. Her husband also helps. My problem is a few times that I have picked him up he has smelled really bad. I could not quite pin point what the smell was until yesterday. His onesie and his over shirt both were very wet on his right shoulder. They were completely soaked through. Today, on his onesie, I could see a stain that had dried up. I could see the outline of what looked like some type of liquid that had dried up on his outfit. Do you think the lady taking care of him might be propping his bottle up? If so, how do I talk to her about it without offending her? Should I even worry about offending her? I need to work and daycare for 3 month olds is hard to find but I don't want my baby to be mistreated either.

Answer 1

good daycares are hard to find. my mom always tells me the story of when i was about 5 months old she went to pick me up and everyone was outside in the yard BUT me. when she asked where i was they said oh i think shes still inside. my mom went in to get me and i had a 104 temperature, was covered in sweat and my diaper hadnt been changed in what looked like 2 changings. she was sooo furious. they told her they cant help it if children get sick. she was so livid becuase they didnt even call her to tell her i was practically dying. they just left me inside.

ok i know you didnt want to hear that story but i just had to tell it. you need to express your concerns with the daycare provider. ask her how she is feeding him. just calmly express your concerns with her and tell her that if you dont feel she is making adequate changes that you will need to find a different babysitter, but you dont want to have to do that.this is your child. you cant worry about offending some lady when you feel that your baby isnt being taken care of to decent standards  

Answer 2

If you feel that your baby may not be getting the care he needs, you should have a talk with her.  Don't worry about offending her.  If she is neglecting the baby, you need to find a better place to watch him.  Your baby comes first, not worrying about hurting someone else's feelings.

Answer 3

well its your baby and i think you have every right to ask her if she is propping his bottle..you are paying her to take care of him..i work in a daycare and have for about 4 years now..i actually work in the infant room and that is a big no no..its sad that some parents do prop bottles but you should be taking the time to feed them atleast until they can hold it themselves..we can actually tell when a new baby comes in and is being fed with a propped bottle because when we feed them they wont eat unless we hold them like they are getting it propped..but anyways forsure ask her about it dont worry about offending her..hope this helps

Answer 4

She could be propping it. If you see a stain or something that isn't suppose to be on your baby, you have every right to ask what it is. You can even do it nonchalantly you know. Just ask about what this spot is on his shirt? And show her. And if she acts like it's nothing then, then I wouldn't worry about offending her. You shouldn't really worry about offending her anyway actually. It is YOUR baby and you need to do what's best for him.

Answer 5

It sounds like to me she could possibly be propping his bottle up. And don't worry about offending her. You are paying her to care for your child, the way you would care for him. Ask her how she feeds him. "do you hold him when you feed him or do you lay him down with a propped bottle" or something like "how has he been eating lately because I have noticed a lot of formula seems to be on his onesie and I was concerned that he isn't eating enough." Talk to her about it. She is providing a service for which you are paying and making sure she is taking adequate care of your child is more important than not wanting to offend someone. When my youngest was in daycare I told the workers what to do and how to do it because I wanted her cared for propperly. God bless and have a great night.

Answer 6

Just because he has a stain doesn't mean she is propping his bottle. Often times when I fed my daughter when she was that young it would just come out of her mouth, and I wasn't propping her bottle.

Answer 7

I would try not to offend her because if she is your only opion you don't want her upset with you while watching your son. Just ask her and see what she has to say first and then let her know that's not something you do.To be honest I would try to find someone who doesn't have 6 other children to look after. I know that's not an easy find, but... I have a 4 month old and when I'm in the room with her, cleaning ect. I will prop her bottle but ONLY if I'm in the room. I hope this helps.

Answer 8

i would just ask about the stains...see what she says...if she says it is spitup, ask her to change his clothes when they are soiled...assuming u pack extras in case...and i would def pop in more than once when she wasn't expecting me and not only see how my child  is being taken care of, but the others as well, bc she likely treats them the same...that is a lot for one lady to do esp if they are all infant/toddlers....maybe shop around when you can and see if you can find a better place before you need it, some have waiting lists and all, and it may be that she is taking care of bub, but she may not...if you shop ahead and then find out she isn't, then you will know where you want to try next...idk about others, but unless it is very small amts of spitup (which i try to clean off so it doesn't smell) i change her clothes, same as when she drools through or around a bib; i don't want her in wet clothes, or developing a rash bc of it.....i am fanatical about cleaning under her twelve chins, as much as she hates it for the same reason, i use a wipe in between bathings to clean it out, something to dry it, and then when i bathe her i wash it with soap and water...same with any spit up that gets on her..say on an arm, i clean with a wipe then, wash when it's bathtime...i would also keep an eye on baby's bum; if she's lazy enough to actually be propping a bottle or that busy(no excuse) then likely she can't or won't keep up with diaper changes either, and you will soon see results of that....good luck, hoping for the best for you.....

Answer 9

You can just be polite and let her know your concern or if my baby had those problems i would rip her right out of that daycare.  If you baby is wet for that long he could get a rash or who knows what.  The only daycare i would consider are the ones where you can watch your baby on the internet through the cameras they have at the day care.  They are wonderful and I have friends that check on  their kids from work often. Good luck i'm sorry you have to deal with that kind of problem.  That would stress me out major!

Answer 10

You do have to mention it to her because I really don't agree with propping the bottle, and if you don't either say something.

Answer 11

I would assume it is from spitting up, not propping the bottle. I would ask her if he has been spitting up alot lately, and see what she says.

Answer 12

I will say from personal experience of caring for others babies that situations like these need to be handled delicately.  If you get into the habit of jumping to conclusions and voicing your conclusions in an indelicate manor it could effect your relationship with the care provider as well as her relationship with your child.  

Personally, I think the best way to go about it is to ask:  "I was just wondering what your policy is on bottle propping?"  It's very non-confrontational, and doesn't insinuate anything.  She will more than likely be upfront about it.  The stains could just as easily be from spit up (especially if they smell foul).

Unfortunately, with home daycares, there really is no way of knowing what goes on when you're not there.  There is also no one to supervise her and make sure all is being done properly.  If you have multiple reasons to suspect that something is "just not right", then trust your gut and look for another situation as opposed to constantly confronting her, because with a home care provider, this often won't have any effect, as it would with a manager at a commercial daycare center.

Another thing you can do is to "drop by" during a time when you know she would be feeding your baby.  Just say you got off early, or wanted a visit.  You could get a good feel for the situation that way.