Deployed Fiance Issues....?

Question

Okay... so he jokes with me all the time- I go to joke with him in the SAME manner and he gets pissed. Now he wants his distance and I cant seem to do anything right- Is it normal for them to act like they're on the rag considering what they're dealing with? How have others dealt with this? For those soldiers- what is the most important thing to hear when you get moody? Any help would be great

Answer 1

You need to ask yourself, "is this the kind of person and issues you want to have to deal with." It will only get worse. I recommend you move on and save yourself a lot of emotional and possibly physical injury later. Don't think that when he gets back he will change or that you can change him. Do yourself a really big favor and move on NOW!

After reading your statement about your weight it obvious you are getting what you are asking for. You are a willing victim so go on suffer. You're being used. Tell him to get off of the computer and fight the war he volunteered for. He’s acting like a wimp and you’re enabling his kind of childish behavior.

Answer 2

You have to make allowances for him. Remember that he has to get in the right mind set to go and kill some muslims so he can't be all loved up all the time.

Not to mention the fact that people are going to try and kill him. Just give him some space. He'll be out of your way soon and you can do what  you like.

Answer 3

My husband got that way sometimes also ,especially right before he had to go out on a mission. He would start fights and be a real ******. In the beginning i would fight back with him and we would hang up or log off angry until we both realized that it was hurting our relationship. First deployments are always the hardest because you don't know what to expect, how to react towards each other, how to deal with missing each other and so on. My advice is to send him an email saying how much you love him and miss him and that you and his family, friends are proud of him. Make sure you do it when he is out on a mission because when he comes back he'll read and it will lift his spirits up.  What you guys are going through is normal. We have all sat at the blank screens wondering what to say to make them feel better but really cant think of a thing. Good luck and i hope this helped.

Answer 4

I have no answers for you because my husband was watching "R" rated movies over there which wasn;t bad, its just that the ones he was watching had full frontal nudity. I considered this cheating on me. He did not. H eliekd the violence int he movies, and iof it had b***s, oh well, deal with it. Its when he was home that he would ghet on the rag and when I told him he was on the rag, he would get really mad. I just kept myself busy (went to school). Sorry.  

Answer 5

Yes it is natral for men or woman who are deployed to get moody, they have alot of stress on them.  And many times when someone if upset they take it out on the ones they love the most, So just think of it as he does care so much, although it hurts. Try talking to him, tell him you miss him and you are so proud of him. that makes him feel like he is doing something very good (WHICH HE IS) tell him you respect him, and he is such a man, (men like to hear that) well I hope i helped even a little.

Keep your head up!

Answer 6

ok. as a formerly deployed soldier to three different conflicts in the past ten years, the only thing that really pissed me off was when an argument went unfinished or unresolved between me and my fiancee. i mean think about it. your tens of thousands of miles away, and no matter what, you can't have make-up s*x when you argue, so before i finish a phone call or any correspondence i want all issues resolved, and all doubts out of my mind. the last thing i want to hear is " I love you" before i hang up the phone. not some B.S. about how our relationship is hard on you or how your having trouble dealing with things without me there. and yes its selfish in a way, but if you can't put differences aside in that situation, you can't do it when i get back home either. keep in mind that it sucks for both of you and that the seperation should always make your relationship stronger, not tear it apart.

Answer 7

The guys sometimes tend to get really grumpy over there sometimes, they're under a lot of stress.  Just give him a little time and I'm sure he'll be back to normal again, its typical for them to change a little over there to, personality wise, though they'll never admit it.  Just keep supporting him and it should all turn out okay.  Maybe ask him if theres something going on, he might be getting depressed to, that happens to a lot of soldiers, but don't pry at it with him, that'll only make him withdrawal, just give him a little time.