Do i put up with it?

Question

Hubby says he loves me but cannot put up with all my quizzing when he goes out, eg, was she nice, is she better than me, do you want to leave me for her, did you give her one before you came home,he tells me he doesnt even look at another woman when he is out but because of all of this he has left me, is there some1 else or have i driven him away. Been together 22 years, 2 kids, mortgage etc.

Answer 1

Ya you have got to learn to trust him, and if you want him back you have to show him that you trust him because just because he goes out doesnt mean that he is cheating on you

Answer 2

You've driven him away, sorry but it's so easily done when you nag and quiz every time he goes out.

Answer 3

If he's given you no reason not to trust him, yes, I believe you've driven him away.

You seem very insecure.  I base that on your quizzing of him.  If this marriage can be saved, you need to put some serious work into yourself.  I strongly advocate that you seek professional counseling if for no other reason than to work on your self esteem.

I wish you all the best.

Answer 4

Yes, YOUR nagging drove him away, so theres nothing for you to "put up with".

The real problem is a combination of your insecurities, that have AbZero to do with anything about him or what he does, and in your control freak nature, where you feel an insane need to control everything that another adult human being does and sees when they're not in your presence.

Until you solve YOUR issues, and stop that insane behavior, you are not fit to be in a relationship with any more complex a lifeform than a goldfish.  

Answer 5

well unless theres been clear cut proof of cheating, based on what you've said, ummm, man, you sound jealous, possesive and immature. so, with you leaving some stuff out, id say you drove him away

Answer 6

you need a good slap and divorce is on the way

Answer 7

First off you did not say how often he went out...   But if you was saying things like that to him you are nutty get over it....

Answer 8

I think you have some serious trust issues. Is there a reason you never trusted your husband? To me trust is one of the cornerstones of a relationship. Without it and that relationship is doomed. If you want your husband back you are going to have to look at some form of therapy.

Answer 9

If you obsess on these ideas 24-7 with no real reasons then yes it could be the reason he has left, but I doubt it.  Usually a person has a reason, my ex was like that,  he said I unfairly accused him but he was in reality always doing something.  Has he cheated on you in the past?  If yes then you have reasons.  Does he stay out all hours of night with no excuses?  If yes you have a reason again.  Are you being mean when you say these things?  If you are, and there is NO real reason, then yes I could see him leaving for awhile.    

Answer 10

Haa Dumplin you're going to have to learn  how to chill  out about  this, thinking  things putting 2 and 2 together and getting  5 will drive  both you  and  him crazy. The best thing for you to do is  for you to start doing things for yourself. Go out with your  girl friends..  have  girly nights  in..  have some   fun... makes more sense  than going crazy don't you think!

Answer 11

I think the question should be how did he put up with it. I'm surprised it took him 22 years to leave with all that nagging. You probably drove him away to another woman whom he's enjoying right now. Be confident in yourself and love yourself. Unless he gave you reason to act like this, it's totally uncalled for.

Answer 12

I think its crazy that you would accuse him every single time when he goes out. Let him have fun, these questions are way over the line especially for how long you've been married. I think if he was seeing someone else there would be way more signs than him just casually going out. Apologize to him, make things right, and stop bugging him when he just goes out! Take care.