Question:

Do psychiatrists need therapy?

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My girlfriend has severe mood swings. She is doing her residency in psychiatry. We live in different towns. She complains that she has no friends in town, and that the friends that she has don't care about her. She complaining about it for one year now. She also says that she does not like her house and that she feels lonely. When I come to visit her she is really moody. To the point that she shouts at me, for simple stuff. She says that she is unhappy, and that she doesn't like herself. Everyday she calls me saying how horrible her day at the hospital was. I told her that I cannot be the only person hearing all these problems and she flew off the hook saying that she expect me to be fine with it because that is her work. I said that I am fine, but I would like to hear good news every now and then. Sometimes she thinks that she is depressed. I've told her that she needs therapy because the emotional load of psychiatry residency is huge. But she refuses to seek help. What should I do. She fought with her dad, with her sister, and now she is fighting with me on a regular basis. If I say that I want to see the rules of the game while we play scrabble she says that I don't trust her and gets hysterical. She complains about everything and nothing is enough. Is there a way to help this situation?

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  1. I've read, been told, seen first hand, and kinda knew, that many people go into the Psych/Social fields because they have issues they identify with and feel they will identify well with patients.  (this seems to also apply to the "cop mentality")

    I also knew two Psych Drs. that said they always have a few patients during the week that immediately trigger a feeling that they battle within their own mind set/life - would that be beneficial or detrimental to the client?  I don't know.  Sadly, I knew one friend, her ex was a psychiatrist:  well known and well praised; he was prescribing himself meds. in excess; thus the divorce.

    At the same time, like you've mentioned, she's becoming a Dr.  with hours upon hours upon years of training and expectations.  

    Your scrabble example scares me though - "Would Dr. Insecure please pick up the phone, there someone on a ledge that needs talking down..."  Whoa.  


  2. Residency with long hours of shift work at odd days of the week can wreak havoc on your social life, not to mention your relationships.  It may be this that is the cause of her mood swings or the intensity of the work itself that is causing it.

    Everyone wants to hear good news once in a while when talking to their friends, no one likes hearing from someone who is a constant black hole of need all the time, so I can see your point.

    Ask her if she would like to see a doctor about it, but if she refuses to see help let her know that you made the suggestion as you felt that it would benefit her, rather than harm her and leave it at that.  She has to take some responsibility for her behaviour.

  3. Everyone needs therapy.  Ergo, so must your friend.

    Your friend is more aware of the need for help, as she is intending to become one able to provide it.  So, her need may be greater than others.  Your obvious suggestion is that the desire to help may somehow be related to the need for help.  Good on you.

  4. Yes, people in the mental health field seek psychiatrists, psychologists, substance abuse therapists... they are people too.

    Try to get her in to see a doctor next time you see her. That needs to be the next step... and take her with you.

    Last resort is contacting her professor/instructor. They can get her help at her school and because of what they are teaching, can see any red flags if they arise.

  5. For what it's worth:  You're doing fine; though this is not about you per se.  You're helping more than you realize.  Do not beat yourself up for not fixing the ups and downs apparent in your girlfriend's mood.  Just listen.  She'll know when you're trying to "shrink" her.  Don't give it much afterthought...

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