Question:

Do you like my poem? ?

by  |  earlier

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What do you think of my poem?

Daydream

When I have a daydream, it’s always of you.

If only every single one could come true,

Then the times I’m alone would never be here;

And the time we’d get married would be so near.

We’d have our own house and a white picket fence.

And, you could go with me wherever I went.

Our kids would be gorgeous; everyone would stare.

They’d have my blue eyes and your brown, curly hair.

Although gold rings would have replaced our red bands,

You better believe we’d still love holding hands.

When I woke up, you’d be the first thing I’d see.

And, you would love nothing more than you love me.

There’d be dirty dishes and plenty of chores.

But, I’d have no problem, because I’d be yours.

We’d never grow old; we’d stay in love and young.

And, our time together would never be done.

When I have a daydream, it’s always of you.

I hope at least most of them will come true.

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7 ANSWERS


  1. That is really really good!!


  2. Wow!!!! that is like sooo good! great job!!!

  3. Your poem is Fabulous!!!

    Here its too good to have it not published so i ran a search for you.

    IF you go to this sit you can fing many Publisher with the intrest for publishing your poes try it out...youu cant leave it without the world knowing.... you might get famoues for your work!

    These are the sites or you could try  

    1.www.SearchForPublishers.com

    2.www. Wordclay.com

    3.www.Authorclay.com  

  4. Thats fabulous darling! lol. you know you could get that published right? :D

  5. I also think it needs a bit more work, but I really like it; it captures the feelings of a young person in love so well. With a little more work on the rhythm, it might make good lyrics for a song.

    Whatever you do, publish or not, be sure to keep it, because it will be treasured by someone special.

  6. I really like this poem!!!! You should definitely put it in a poetry contest or something. it's amazing! While reading it I can just about picture everything I read because of the imagery in it. Great job! keep it up!

  7. actually, not to be a party pooper or anything, but i think some of the rhyme is kind of forced.  also, you have some verb tense problems.  example "when i woke up, you'd be..." should be "when i wake up, you'd..." but even that sounds kind of awkward.

    it's cutesy, but i don't think it's ready to be published.
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