Does Anyone Have Any Good Jokes

Question

I need the best jokes anyone knows. Best one I will award 10 points!

Answer 1

A man walked into his local supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The young man working in that department told him they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the young man asked his manager about the matter.

Walking into the backroom, the young man said to his manager, "Some a.h. wants to buy half a head of lettuce.” As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he quickly added, "And this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half". The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.

Later, the manager found his employee and said, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son? "

"Manchester, sir." the young man replied.

"Well, why did you leave Manchester?" the manager asked.

"Sir, there's nothing but whores and football players up there”, said the young man.

"Really!" said the manager. "My wife is from Manchester."

"Really? Which club did she play for?" the young man quickly replied.

Answer 2

woman sitting at a bar having a drink notices a jar sitting on the counter with a sign reading "koochie eating bullfrog"...being convinced by the bartender it is real she buys the frog and takes him home...once home she goes in here room strips down naked lays on the bed and places the frog between her legs...the frog just sits there..after a few atempts to make something happen the furious woman calls the bartender and explains the situation.."I'll be right over" he replies...so the bartender arrives at the womans house, goes in the room, lays down between her legs, looks at the frog and says.."okay now, I'm only going to show you this one more time"................

Answer 3

Not anymore, there aren't. No good jokes except for the cheesy ones. Well, there might be some good ones. I don't know. Happy hunting. :)

Answer 4

One man has a large mohawk. He walks ouside the door and trips. A squealing georgeous woman  jumps down for him. Then they both kiss and marry at the bottom

Answer 5

Three duck were standing trail in a courtroom.  The judge approaches the first duck and asks, "What's your name and why are you here today?"

The duck answers, "My name is Quack and I was arrested for blowing bubbles in the park."

The judge approaches the second duck and asks him, "What's your name and why are you here today?"

The second duck answers, "My name is Quack Quack and I was arrested for blowing bubbles in the park."

Finally, the judge approaches the last duck and says, "Let me guess.  Your name is Quack Quack Quack and you were arrested for blowing bubbles in the park."

The duck replied, "No, my name is Bubbles."

Answer 6

Not really...

Answer 7

no