Does anybody feel like......?

Question

putting a child in timeout does not help? almost like the parent is just saying "im too stressed out so since your being bad im gonna put you in a place by yourself so i can have some quiet time" I personally go for hand smacking or a loud firm no with redirection. mostly the loud no depending on what it is but everybody has different kids with different dispositions everybody is entitled to their opinion....what is everybody else's view on this?

Answer 1

depends what the kid is doing

if they were about to touch the hot oven, i'd knock their hand out the way.

if they have been stropping for something and won't calm down, then a quiet place is good for them.

Answer 2

I personally think time outs are a joke. I also think spanking is mean and cruel.   My daughter is three and I have always made a point of praising her when she was being a good girl.  If hse is being naughty or just not listening, I try to talk to her and the consequence if she still doesn't listen is usually taking a favourite toy away or not doing something fun we had planned (within reason).

Answer 3

i don't think timeouts are useless. I have a 7 yr. old & 3 1/2 yr. old & I follow the "1 minute per age" rule. Then, after their timeout, I sit with them & ask why they think they got a timeout and how they can keep from getting another timeout in the future.

If we don't follow up with our children, they don't necessarily understand why they are being punished... and talking to them helps us understand what is going on in their heads!!

Also, I don't consider their timeout my free-time by any means!! I consider it a time to reflect on the "nature of the problem".

Answer 4

time out is a total waste of time, i fine that a smakin does work for us not hard jus enough for them to get the message also i do the meanest thing ever well what my friends say is mean i will take away one their fav toys and only give it back when they have done something good toget it back, i over reward good behaviour too like with daytrips and special mummy time i have four kids one of which has autisum and everyone comments on how happy polite and well behavied the are so it must be workin

Answer 5

Time outs CAN work, but there is an art to them. Like any other strategy, it has to be done just right, and exactly the same each time.

Child must be warned first that they will get a Time Out if the behavior does not stop immediately. It is important they get a chance to change it first before resorting to the Time Out.

It must be in the same spot each time. This spot must have nothing enjoyable for the child at all. (no books, toys, other kids, etc.)

No one can interact or speak to the child while in time out, ever.

If child leaves time out spot, they must be put back til it is finished. Even if this means you have to carry them back over and over a hundred times - you must be MORE persistant than them.

When the child leaves time out, the time starts over. Use an actual timer or the stove timer.

Mess up on any of these and Time Out as a method will fail miserably! (Watch an episode of Nanny 911 and you will see a demo!)

About hitting: Few dispute that it will work. It is effective. BUT not good for one HUGE reason - it teaches your child that in certain circumstances, it is okay to hurt someone. Do you really want your child to learn that? Time Out is meant to teach 2 things: that when you are angry or misbehaving, you need to remove yourself from the situation, and second, that if you cannot behave appropriately, you are not allowed to continue that activity til you do. Excellent for helping them learn self-control as they grow into adults.

A firm/ loud NO with redirection works great - for some kids. Not so for others. But if it works, by all means, stick to it! It is a perfect way to show you mean business without yet needing to resort to other measures.

Time Out is not for the weak. It takes work. It is much easier and faster to hit them. You have to ask yourself; are my kids worth the extra effort? Or am I so stressed and frustrated that I have to take the easy road? A good parent will sacrifice for their kids and do what's best, even if it is harder and takes longer.

That said, parents are never perfect, just human! and if you slip up in a moment of extreme stress, your child will survive and you should not feel too guilty. And let's face it, if your kid nearly got himself killed running into traffic, a smack might be the only reaction for the time and place. Just don't make it the norm. We all just try our best!

Answer 6

my dads always wiped me with a belt and im 12 so i guess that works. wellit worked for a while but now ikeep getting trouble..

Answer 7

I agree. Time outs are useless with my kids.