Does song i wrote sound alright?

Question

Just say hello

Hello, hello, hello

I’ve been waiting all summer long

And I thought by August I had finally given up on you

But school starting again and it seems I’m falling again

But I can’t tell who you are

Who it is I’m being pulled to

I’m waiting for you

Just say

Hello

Hello, hello, hello

I’m waiting for you to make your move

Forget about what the others say

Me and you were meant to be

Can’t you see?

But around your friends I’m in invisible

And when we’re alone everything seems alright

I’m not asking for another hidden message

Please come to me

And say

Hello

Hello, hello, hello

Hello, hello, hello

Two weeks into the school year

And I thought by now some things would of changed

But nothing’s moving, you’re just rewinding

Are we really back to this again?

Why not just come out

And say it

Just say

Hello

Hello, hello, hello

I’m waiting for you to make your move

Forget about what the others say

Me and you were meant to be

Can’t you see?

But around your friends I’m in invisible

And when we’re alone everything seems alright

I’m not asking for another hidden message

Please come to me

And say

Hello

Hello, hello, hello

Hello, hello, hello

You can whisper if you like

Catch my eye

Pull me aside

But don’t phase me out

You’re pushing away

Without even saying Goodbye

Hello

Hello, hello, hello

I’m waiting for you to make your move

Forget about what the others say

Me and you were meant to be

Can’t you see?

But around your friends I’m in invisible

And when we’re alone everything seems alright

I’m not asking for another hidden message

Please come to me

And say

Hello

Hello, hello, hello

Hello, hello, hello

Answer 1

Yessss! I love it! Its unique. I get frusterated cuz some songs people post on here are about stupid things or are so normal and its annoying, but thats lovely =]

Good job!

Answer 2

Wow. That's really good. I kinda felt what you were trying to say.

Well Done!

Answer 3

sounds extremely juvenile and childish...get rid of the "Hello" -  -  done by the Beatles already...sounds whiny and even moody emo kids wouldn't like it...the problem with our society is that everyone LOVES what everyone else writes/sings...truthful, honest criticism will only make you a better songwriter...peace

Answer 4

great!!!!!!!!! WOW

i would love to hear u sing it!!!!!!!!

u should make somethin on youtube...

anybody answer mine?

if you have an ipod, mp3 player, or chocolate phone this is easy

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...

Answer 5

that is awesome!! i feel the same way....

Answer 6

its like Lionel Richie- Hello

Great Job! Well done

Answer 7

okay first off as i writer myself i know that if you want to be successful now a days you can't write songs about how well hmmm its a little hard to explain but in my eyes its cheesy to write songs such as "omg i cant live without you" blah blah blah basically showing weekness and you think wow pathetic y'know im mean when a make is singing something similar to this type it could be a little okay because guys have this cant show weakness thing but if your female you need to have songs that show that your strong and that you can go on and get through life cuz if you think about it alot of men think as females as emotional wrecks so show them something new this time

im not trying to offend you or anything i want you to do good im just giving you helpful advice im an aspiring singer and you have to know the ways around

and second its a bit too long shorten it up a bit

this is the way most songs are written

intro(if there is one)

verse 1

pre chorus

chorus

verse 2

pre chorus

chorus

bridge

then the chorus a few times over and over

well good luck to you and your song writing hope i helped