Does this line make sense??

Question

From my book that I am writing:

"I wouldn’t be the soulful rebel who I always praised in my mind."

Does this make sense or should I reword it?

Answer 1

It makes perfect sense if the  speaker is a narcissist.  Is that what you are getting at?

Answer 2

"I wouldn’t be the soulful rebel who I always praised in my mind."

This statement needs to change I to I'd or I had and an 'if.'

For example

"If I believed that, I wouldn't be the soulful rebel who I'd always praised in my mind."

or

"I wouldn't be the soulful rebel who I'd always praised in my mind, if that were true."

Of course be more specific replacing the word "that" with a word or phrase that applies.

Another example

"If I believed that lie, I wouldn't be..."

or

"...praised in my mind, if I confromed to his idea of me."

Answer 3

you should reword it. out of context, at least, it's very confusing.

Answer 4

Yeah it makes sense. You might want to change "in my mind" to something different...you don't have to because it's already good, but if you can find something to replace it, it could be even better.

Answer 5

I think it makes sense.