English - japanese translation?

Question

i want to learn how to say the following in japanese informal (of what teens would say). I hope you don't mind, i just wanna see if i'm on the right track with informal/formal japanese:

persona 4 is a very interesting video game. It took me one month to complete, but I finally completed it, yay! My favourite character would be Naoto and Chie, however I do like the other characters as well. The dungeons are less scarier (not too dark), the layout is easier to use, fishing and the animation and everything else in the game is almost perfect. 9.5/10. If Persona 3 had some features Persona 4 has now, then to be honest, Persona 3 would have been a better game.

Anyway, this is my first P4 fanart. Hope you like it. I will draw more~

Answer 1

Persona 4 は超面白いゲームだよ。一ヶ月かかったけど、やっと完了した。

一番好きなキャラはなおととちえだと思う、

でも勿論外のキャラも好き。

今回のダンジョンは前バージョンほど怖くなくて、

設計はもっと使いやすくて、

外に釣りやアニメーションなど全部は大概完璧だ。９.５／１０。

Persona 3は今Persona 4の持ってる特徴があれば、正直Persona 3はもっといいゲームだっただろう。

とにかく、これは私の最初のP4ファン絵。

気に入ってくれるといいね。

また描くよ〜

This is not very informal yet, since I tried to take a very gender neutral voice.  If it were either female or male it could be a little different.  Just ask me if you need it either way =D

EDIT:

Yeah, you might replace darou with deshou.  And add a few "wa"s here and there (though it's kind of just following stereotypes, which is not good).