Fair Punishment?

Question

Ok I bought my daughter (11) a iphone but she continues not to do her homework or slacks in areas (she is home schooled) I get pissed so I took away her iphone until she graduates 5th grade about 4 months. I feel bad because it was a birthday gift I bought her is this too harsh?

Answer 1

You're not being harsh enough.

Answer 2

dont question yourself - thats what she wants you to do.  Her education is way too important - if taking things away is the only way to get through to her, stick to your plan!!!!   She needs to understand that you are in charge and know more than she does about whats right and wrong.  She may be mad at you now, but she'll turn out to be a much more responsible person having parents that set rules and boundaries.

Answer 3

Nope.  Not too harsh.  If she is not responsible or mature enough to get her work done, she is not entitled to the iphone.

Answer 4

I'm not sure what an 11 year old is doing with a cell phone to begin with, especially one that is so expensive.

Answer 5

4 months? 11 years old? Geez. I would say 1-2 months. Give her a warning at first! Don't just randomly take all her stuff away! - my opinion;).

Answer 6

My ten year old HAD a phone.  I took it away permanently because she couldnt behave and do her work at school.

Answer 7

No.  The phone is a distraction from what is most important, her education.  About being a birthday gift, she still owns the phone but she has to rebuild the right to use it.  This would be like buying her a water gun which she decided to wet up everyone in sight.  You would have to take the water gun away from her until she understood to play with it responsibly.

Answer 8

I don't think punishment is the answer, because I don't see her misbehaving.  I see her communicating rather clearly to you that it is time to take a look at your curriculum and adjust it more to her needs, which is one of the joys of homeschooling.

Take some time and back off from the schoolwork for a time, so you can come back and take a fresh approach.  During this time, do some reading on homeschooling.  I would recommend John Holt and John Taylor Gatto.

Be well.

Answer 9

The only other alternative is do on a day by day basis.  At the end of the day if she completes all of her expectations let her have it until bedtime.  I think kids do better on short term basis.  It will give her incentive in the moment to  do what needs to be done that day.  Take it one day at a time.

Answer 10

First thing you did wrong was to buy her the iphone in the first place.  What does she NEED that thing for?  None of my kids have phones and they know they're not going to get any unless they pay for them themselves.

Answer 11

You're punishment is not harsh at all!!  I totally agree with taking away privileges.  You are being more than fair.  She needs to learn that school work is most important.  Remind her that her cell phone is a privilege that she must earn, not a necessity.  And if that doesn't work, tell her you'll down grade her phone to a simply, basic model.  And if that doesn't work don't give it back till she proves herself in school next year.

You are being a good mom.  It may not always be easy but when she grows up to be a responsible young lady you'll see the benefits of your hard work.

Good luck!!!

Answer 12

No, but if she continues to act up extend the time you keep it.

Answer 13

No you are not too harsh!  She doesn't do her homework so she shouldn't get priveleges.  I'm suprised a fifth grader has a phone!

Answer 14

You're not being too harsh but may I ask if homeschooling is working for you? I know that many people successfully homeschool their kids but it isn't a situation that works for everyone. I know for sure that my daughter really needs the socialization and the competition and schedule that only a regular school provides. If I attempted to homeschool her she would be illiterate. Perhaps it's time to revisit the idea of putting her in a regular or private school. If you feel that the school is below par, you can always supplement.

Answer 15

Stand your ground!!! Or be the mat they wipe their feet on.  The choice is yours.

Answer 16

NO you doing the right thing! Academics is very important, more then her chatting with pals. Plus, she is a little young for a cell phone , nevertheless an Iphone. Im sure if you take it away form her, she will start doing better. So dont worry, your punishment is good.

Answer 17

omg you cruel cruel person you....get real...why did you buy her the phone in the first place if she was slacking?? you dont know what harsh is.

Answer 18

No. you weren't too harsh. You were being a parent. When I was 11, I didn't have a cell phone. I went outside and played. You did right. Her education is more important.

Answer 19

you bought your 11 year old an i phone, you need to be punished

Answer 20

I want an I-phone... LOL... Anyway...If she is home school why does she need a cell phone. She's to young to be dating or going out alone so you always know where she is, and she doesn't do what she is suppose to. I would take it away until she earns it back. Lets say every grade has a dollar amount and that amount goes toward paying to get the phone back. Tell her (for example) she needs to make $100 in grades. The chart should be $4-A. $3-B $2-C and nothing for D's and -$2 F's. She will work so hard to earn it back, plus do so well in school, you both will be happy.

Answer 21

No feeling bad, Mom. Take the phone away until she WANTS to work hard enough to get it back. If she doesn't want it bad enough, sell the phone to prove a point. Do not waver or give her leverage. You are the parent.