Farting at the grocery store.....?

Question

My wife gets so mad at me for doing this. I always try to blame it on the produce or something. Yesterday there was this dude at the meat counter I blamed it on... She smacked me right in front of God and everybody. What can I do??.......

Answer 1

Hahaha!

Hold it in and let a big one rip in the car or at home!

:D

Answer 2

Thank you! I just laughed so hard. My husband does this too, and then will blame it on the poor little 85 year old lady that is struggling to push her cart at the rate of 20 feet per hour. Poor old lady gets stranded in the stench. I just turn and run. FAST!!

Answer 3

Your wife slapped you in a public place?  Why did you let her get away with such unruly behavior.  Not that you should have slapped her back, but you could have said something.  Hitting a spouse is spousal abuse.  Does she make a habit of whacking you/  If she does, then your marriage is in deep trouble.

As to the farting,  try to contain yourself until you're outside.  At the same time it's pretty clear that sometimes you just have to f**t.  There's nothing wrong with this natural function of the human body.  Everyone does it because everyone's digestive system produces gas; and the best way for gas to get out of the body is to take the rear door.

Answer 4

Obviously trying to explain decorum to you would be a complete waste of time. Society has certain ground rules by which it conducts itself. NOT "farting" in public is one of them and as to your wife slapping you for doing so, good for her, I hope she slaps you harder if you do it again

Answer 5

Stop farting in public!

Don't feel too bad, you sound like my mom and dad! He farts in the grocery store too.

Answer 6

f**t more till she accepts it and eventually loves it, then she will encourage you to f**t.