Father's Rights in Custody Battle?

Question

My boyfriend has a 9 yr old son. His ex is taking him to court to get child support because she just had another kid with someone else-she does not work and is on public assistance. We have sent her money on a montly basis out of our own. She simply just wants money from us. She refuse to let my bf see his son. They are now in court and live on different coast. We have an attorney, but they court said if my bf looses he may have to pay more for child support because she just had another baby, eventhough it is not his. What rights does my bf have. He wants to be in his son's life and his son wants to be with him. But the mom always seems to have the upper hand eventhough we have triend endless time and spent so much money flying out to california to see him. Then having her change her mind about letting my bf see his son and taking their son out of town last minute. Is it possible for him to win, pay cs for her 2nd kid? Please help!

Answer 1

If the courts are going to set child support, they will also set up visitation that if your she violates, she can go to jail.  And then depending on the state that the papers are filed in(probably in her state) will depend on how child support works.  If it goes off her income, it will be more because she doesn't work, but it shouldn't be base off her having other children..just her income..which is none.  Your lawyer knows best..just make you study up on laws in the filed state...because that is where it matters.

Answer 2

How is she getting both public assisstance and child support.

Answer 3

Well, visitation and child support are two separate things.  Just because she doesn't let him see his son, doesn't mean he doesn't have to pay support.

But at the same time, if he's going to court, they will not only order child support, but they will order a visitation schedule.  And if the mom doesn't abide by the visitation, then she's in contempt of court.  

So, going to court is not a bad thing, necessarily.

Also, is the new baby his baby?  If not, his child support amount should not change.  He has no responsibilities towards the new baby.  However, the child support payment guidelines may calculate out to where he may have to pay more than he's been paying, since you never went through child support enforcement before.  

Did you keep receipts/copies of every payment you sent to her???? If you didn't, he may have to pay back child support as well.  I really hope you kept some receipts.  

Good Luck.

Answer 4

Someone has misinformed you. Her taking him to court is a good thing in some ways.

Child support for one particular child does not go up or down if the mother has more children. The court determines it costs this much to raise this child based on both parent's income. Her having another child doesn't change how much food and clothing his son needs.

If the court awards your boyfriend visitation rights she HAS to make her son available on certain dates if you guys fly into town. You could probably even have him spend a few weeks in the summer at your house.

The bad thing is if he has been paying her non-court ordered support she could technically go after him for 9 years of back child support.

Also, if he does get partial custody, even if it is just one weekend a month, he can report her for kidnapping if she pulls c**p like trying to hide their son.

No matter what though, she isn't going to win a penny out of him for someone elses kid.

Answer 5

Well i am going through the same thing. Your boyfriend can take her to court for visitation rights.  Do you have and visual proof that the money was sent to her, because that might do you some good in court.  I would suggest that he files for joint custody because if she has full custody then she can make the decisions on when and when he can't see his son. Trust me this is not going to be easy for him so you have to set by his side and just be there for him when he needs your support.  That is not right she has another child by another man and you might have to pay for that but you might be able to get that lowered.  But she is on government assistance and doesnt have a job, honey you have to watch out for that cause my bf's baby momma is also on government assistance and has no job and now she is depending the child support money to take care of her and the baby.  But she lied to the court system saying that she pays her mother $300 every two weeks to watch the baby which we know is a lie and now he is paying close to $500 dollars a month.  But just be there by him and just encourage him to be the best father that he can be. But if you have anymore question you can email me at [e-mail]

Answer 6

Do you have record of giving her money without a court order? I suggest you attempt at printing out cancelled checks or she’ll most likely get you guys to pay 2 yrs back support (depending on your state) if you have nothing to prove payment to her. We paid my husband’s ex gf without a court order, and when our court date came up for visitation and SET child support, we got screwed and were ordered to pay 2 yrs back support. So tread carefully here….

I suggest you guys find a lawyer or legal aide. Quite possibly even look up a father’s advocacy group and see what you can work out. Tell them your situation and explain what your boyfriend wants for visitation. And be realistic and be fair. The child is 9 yrs old so he’s in school….set it up where you guys get summer visitations. He comes for the months of June and July…back home with his mother for August when school starts back up. And figure out holidays too…alternate year to year.

The thing you need to remember is that she’s taking you to court for child support. I suggest you find a lawyer so you can also deal with visitation during the hearing. Get it all done so that she’s collecting her money and you don’t have to go back again in order to set it up where he sees his son. And honestly, if this other baby isn’t his child, he should NOT be held responsible for him/her. This is insane….the money you give her is for YOUR child, not her other child. And they should be going after the father of that child for support, certainly not your boyfriend. Hence why a lawyer may be the right way to go.

Have your boyfriend check this site out…great reference for researching on your own.

www.deltabravo.net.

Best of luck!

Answer 7

When the lawyer told you the support will go up because of the other kid he is right.

He is not paying for the other child.  But having to contribute more for his own because the mother now has a non-joint child that her money will  have to go to also.  Just like if the father has more kids his support will go down with another mother cause he has other non-joint kids to support that have nothing to do with the other mother.

Hopefully that makes since.

It is crappy.  This is why I think that child support should not be based on percentage of income but on actual half of what is spent on a child in a month.

But it will never be that way because of the money hungry people out there.

My advice is do not give her any more money out of your pocket.  What you need to do is send the payments to child support in a "good faith" effort.  So that way when the child support is finalized you have that money already there to count for the amount that they will set in arrearages.

Because the money you give to her you will be out and screwed and owe back from the time she filed!!!!!!!

Be smart about it so you don't get behind.

Answer 8

No, he will not have to pay support on this other child, he will only have to pay a certain percent of his income on just his child. She will have to go after the other child's father for support for that one.  But the only thing is that being she has been on public assistance for what 9 years, welfare might come after him to pay back to the state what they have paid her.  I hope he has some kind of receipt, either a canceled check or or the receipt from a money order or ever how he paid, cause if he can prove he was paying her and she was also getting state aid, then she might be cut off and they will go after her for pay back.  Instead of going after visitation (and being she doesn't allow dad to see his child) go after custody.  I also hope you noted the times that he traveled to see his son, only to be denied cause that could work in his favor also.  I also think you need another lawyer cause this new kid has nothing to do with your bf case.  It would be to your advantage to have a lawyer where you live that would work closely with  the one that is doing the work in CA.  Good luck.

Answer 9

I personally don't think your boyfriend should have to pay more for a child who isn't his, but that's for the court to decide.  

Unfortunately, Dad went about supporting his child in the wrong way.  In most cases, unless there is a CS order in place, the money a parent sends is considered "under the table" and a gift; it won't count as CS.  Therefore, Mom could technically sue for back CS as well.

As for the visitation issue, Dad also needs to get a visitation order in place.  That way, it won't be up to Mom to change her mind about visitation.  Unless Dad has been abusive, had problems with addiction, badmouthed Mom excessively in front of Junior (yes, people have lost custody over that), or otherwise proven himself to be an unfit father, he will get at least some visitation.

My only other advice is to be there for your boyfriend emotionally but in no other way during all of this.  Since he's your boyfriend and not your husband, it will look rather pushy and aggressive if you go into court and try to fight alongside him.  It's his battle that he needs to fight alone.  I wish you all the best of luck.