First time tlkin 2 dad?

Question

well i am 16yrs old and this is the first time ive ever talked to my dad. like i was so shocked. while i was talking to him (over the phone) my mum said how i was being rude to him. But can u blame me? she said how i should not disrespect him and how he is still my father. ok ok he is still my father but i feel like she is defending him. i didnt disrespect him. i gave him what he deserved. i never saw him in all my life. and actually i thought i was being very easy on him. and i dont like when ppl bs me.

now he wants me to send him some pictures of me but my mother is kinda skeptical of it. idk what to feel or what to do. my mother doesnt want to talk to him and he is going to call me back at 9:00. bcuz thats when my free minutes start.

so i guess my question is what should i do, feel, or say when he calls back. he is deported from the u.s.a. and can any1 relate to this situation im in?

Answer 1

I understand completely!  Its hard to "be nice" to someone that you have hard feelings toward, especially if its your dad.  I wouldn't let him slide into your life to easily.  Be cautious.  Take it step by step, if he can prove that he really wants to be around you and get to know you, then give him a chance, if that's what "you" want to do..  My dad lived in the same town and didn't come see me or call.  he saw me when i was 12 and then again when i was 18 and insulted me and my mother!  I gave him a fighting chance and we exchanged addresses, I wrote him 1 letter and threw away his address.  I decided that if he wanted to write to me I would have his address again, he didn't write me.  I found out a few years ago that he died all alone and his family wanted me included in the burial plans!  I felt like i lost something that I never had in the first place.  Everyone at the funeral were talking about him and how nice he was and how funny, but i didn't know him at all, his own F*** daughter!  I wanted so bad to stand up and say how worthless he was etc.  but out of respect for "his" family, i didn't.  Give your dad a fighting chance and see what happens, but don't put your life on hold waiting for him.  if I was your mom I would completely understand how you treated him on the phone, he deserved it.  It was my dads fault that we didnt know each other because he never made the effert, I was just a kid.  Apperantly I wasnt that important to him.

Answer 2

I would def. tell him how I feel but in a respectful way that would not hurt your mother. She is the one that raised you so you should keep her in mind, however say your peace, or you may regret it later. Also, give him a chance to say his side of the story.