Genital Warts in Marriage?

Question

I have been married for 5.5 years and just found out my ovary was enlarged. I told my husband and discovered that he has had genital warts for 5 years (that he knows of) and never once told me. He only did now because he read they can lead to cervical cancer.

I have never tested positive for the HPV virus and never realized he had them. I noticed them before but he told me they were moles. I feel like a fool and am very upset about my marriage. He either A) was cheating on me so did not tell me or B) was so unconcerned about my health, and the health of our children during labor, he just saw no reason to tell me.

The worst I think is that he said he assumed I had them too, and gave them to him, so he assumed there was no reason we should talk about it. He really thinks I would do that and he is that person, not me! This says so much about our marriage and I am so upset I could puke.

Any advice on how to get through this? And is it even possible for one spouse to have them and the other one to not?

Answer 1

Definitely go to your Gynocologist and discuss your options.  But he also needs to get checked because I know someone who had HPV with a bad case of warts but once the warts were removed they never came back.  I'm a little concerned why he still has the warts.  Men tend to avoid doctors so has he taken care of himself?

That was TOTALLY wrong not to tell you.  Almost unforgivable.  Find out at what state HPV is contagious too.  I think I heard that only on the onset of HPV can it be passed to another...but I could be wrong.

It's a virus that there is no cure for, but the body keeps it at bay.  Now there are preventative medications.  You both jus tneed to sit with a medical professional to discuss your options.

Answer 2

Trust issue.  Honesty is a priority when it comes to health issues. Have a discussion were you are open not judgemental.  Seek counseling if you are not able to talk.  Good luck.

Answer 3

It's best to ask your GYN all those questions. Ask everything you need to know. They will be honest with you.

Answer 4

I think your husband was cheating on you and didn't want you to find out because he didn't want to lose you but it was really selfish on his part.  

Answer 5

First off HPV could have been with him waaaaaay before he met you.  You can also get it non-sexually.  There is no way to determine how, who, where.  I have had HPV for 20 years so I know what Im talking about.  Also, if you have tested negative all this time you need not be so concerned and HPV does NOT affect birthing babies--I have 4 sons ages 20, 18, 16, and 10 and never had issues.  Talk to your doctor to find out the best course of actions for you and him regarding him being treated.  Don't be so hard on the guy and his lack of communicating...something tells me he has always been this way.

Answer 6

I think you need to seek a doctors advice, and I think it's been so long ago and now you just found out I say talk about openly with your husband and get over it.  It's in the pass and in away it your fault too for not asking him all this questions before you married him.  Just thankful that your okay and so are your children.  Also both of you go to the doctors and get all checked out together.  Move forwards and learn from your pass and pray about it and forgive each other and start a new life together.  Bless wishes to you both and your family.

Answer 7

To be honest, the real source can never be determined. If you have a solid marriage, speculations about cheating 5 years ago will only lead to sadness and an unhappy marriage. It is not worth it to try to track it down. If you love him, don't waste time worrying about the past. This too shall pass.

However, the current truth cannot be ignored. Both of you should go and get tested for every STD in the book. When the results come back, take whatever measures necessary to deal with what is happening. Ask him to be honest with you and let you know if there has been any infidelity. Once you find out, you can determine if sticking around is worth it.

Deal with facts, not fiction.

Answer 8

If he got them and was with you already, He might of cheated. There's only one way to get them. Sorry =(

You need to tell him to tell you the truth.  

Answer 9

He is full of c**p.  If a man thinks you gave him something, trust and believe he is going to tell your @ss.  I think it is wrong that he lied to you, he should of at least gave you the oppurtunity to protect yourself.  He can get them removed, which makes it so bad and their is a chance they won't come back again.  Your husband has no respect for your body and only cares about his own urges.  I can't tell you want to do, but d**n.  Any way, it is possible, but kind of unlikely.  If you had genital warts, trust me you would know.  Go to your OBGYN and ask for a pap and start using condoms immediately.   However, if you have been married for what ever amount you have and you haven't had a abnormal reading you might be in the clear.  Good Luck

Answer 10

Don't jump to the cheating conclusion...I would go with he really wasn't concerned about your health.  Obviously he was only thinking about himself in this matter.  I would see your doctor and tell them that he has them and then get tested to see if there is any chance that you have picked it up.  I would also make your hubby go get tested to make sure that is actually what he has.  After you're both tested and it does turn out that is actually what he has then you can decide what to do.  You can either stay with and love him (if you love him) or you can move on and make him part of your past.  It was really unfair of him to hide this from you.  Good luck.

Answer 11

I would say yes but 5.5 years? I'm not sure. I HOPE they could have stayed hidden. I would react the same way... well no.. I probably would have reacted worse... much worse.

It seems suspicious that he would say they were moles but I really don't know. You can read him better than I'd ever be able to.

I wish you the best of luck. I hope it's nothing serious. My mind would be running in circles. I hope he had them before and was just too embarrassed to tell you (although that is NO excuse like you said especially when giving birth).  

Answer 12

Young and dumb is the answer. He was embarrassed and didn't know what to say. He had no idea of the issues it might cause. My sister had a bf that had warts and gave her issues. She had some things lasered off of her uterus and a few years later she had 2 beautiful kids with her husband.

He needs to get treated and wear condoms from now on unless you are trying to conceive.

I had to have surgery once. I had to have an AIDS test before the surgery. They told my my results were negative. When I told my husband (then boyfriend) he said whew I was nervous. Like he never knew if he had it or not. My test was proof that we were both safe. It is just something that doesn't come up I guess.  

Answer 13

Maybe he didn't think it was a big deal or could lead to problems. I have a mole on my ball sack.

Answer 14

that really sucks!  I am concerned about my hubby b/c he has weird looking things on his junk area and he's sworn up and down its been like that as long as he can remember and there is nothing wrong.  I've never had anything like that and I always get tested for anything and everything every year at the gyno, so I know if I did get something its from him.  I don't know what to say other than don't put the blame on anyone.  Its happened now and you can either confront him about the possible cheating and take his word for it, talk to a doctor more and definately have both of you treated.  Either way he needs to know now that is a serious issue and something needs to be done as far as treatment goes.  Don't have s*x anymore until a safer plan can be made, not that is makes a difference after 5 years, but still.  good luck!