Getting adopted!!??

Question

ok so i'm getting adopted by these people. i LOVE to go to japan every summer! i love to read manga and watch anime. i love to go on youtube. i'm a very good artist and do sell some of my drawings. i'm very skilled at kendo. i hate public schools and only like priviate schools. my hair is down to my waist. and i'm wanting to dye my hair pink in about 2 months. but they said they will not take me to japan anymore because it's to expensive, will have a filter on the computers, will be going to a public because does not have enough money for a priviate school. will not let me sell my drawings. will not let me do kendo anymore because it's dangerous. might make me cut my hair. won't be able to read mangas(japanese comic books) or watch anime. and will definintly not let me dye my hair pink! what should i do?! i'm spoused to go live with them in like 5 days! help!

Answer 1

I don't know how old you are, but from your writings it sounds like you are well over 10 years old.

You have a right to say that you do not feel comfortable being adopted by anyone who makes you feel ill at ease.  This is a life-time commitment.  Do not agree to anything that is not with in your comfort zone.

It does sound like these people have been good to you, but if you think that you will have to make some serious compromises in order to be a part of their family, then please speak to your social worker.

Answer 2

Who are you with currently that takes you to Japan every summer?  I don't understand if you are with people that can take you to Japan every year, why are you being adopted by someone else, and not the people that take you on such lavish vacations.

If this is true, your new family is more strict that what you are used too, and that's something you are just going to have to get adjusted too.  Just because they don't have tons of money won't make them good parents.

Answer 3

How old are you? Where are you living now? What options do you have other that living with these people?

Answer 4

no offence but if your an orphen how the f*** do you get to japan every summer

im waiving the bullsh*t flag

Answer 5

It sounds as though your adoptive family is going to be a lot stricter than you are used to. It's always difficult to adjust to new rules... If I were you, I wouldn't make a fuss over the hair. Don't get off to a bad start with them, believe me, it's not worth the trouble it will cause. Most likely, they are worried that they will not be able to control you, and they want to start off firm until they know you better. Don't complain. Make an effort to get along with them. Later, when you have settled in, try explaining how much you love art, and that you really want to sell your drawings. Be mature. If they say no, don't push it. You need to show them that you are trust worthy - and by the way, it would help if you actually are. As time goes on, you can keep trying to gt them to give you more freedom. They will be more likely to agree once they know you.

As for the private school - not everyone is rich. If they can't afford to send you to a private school, don't get upset about it. I'm sure you'll find a state school does have its advantages.

If this family really doesn't suit you, and there are serious personality clashes, then maybe you should talk to a social worker or whoever is over seeing the adoption process. Hope that helps!

Answer 6

well,life is all about changes and we can't have it all. Consider yourself to be lucky and to had at least been in such countries as Japan, been in private school.... not to mention all the luxury you are talking about.Some biological parents can't give this kind of lifestyle to their own children and itdoesn't make them less children than the others.

Answer 7

Just because they're going to be your adoptive parents doesn't mean that they are door mats. MOST biological parents call the shots too. So what you can't goto Japan right now, I would NEVR dream of expecting my parents (bio or adoptive) to foot that kind of cost. I wish my mom WOULD have told me now to a few thing, I might have satyed out of trouble more.

Answer 8

Talk to the adoption agency and see if their are other alternative. To ask this question on yahoo it sounds like perhaps something can be worked out being you are old enough.

Answer 9

Be who you want to be. Don't be afraid to talk to them about your problems. Money is a problem and you can't do everything you want. It is extremely expensive to go to Japan and go to a Private school. Selling your paitings and doing Kendo are two very important things to you and you should decide whether or not you are allowed to do those things. Your pink hair isn't as important as your Kendo or Arts. Talk to them about those problems first. When talking to them remember to stay calm and speak polite. Remember Kendo and your art is important. The others are not.