Gift giving ettiquite?

Question

If I was invited to a wedding out of state, but cannot attend, am I obligated to buy a gift? My husband and are friends of the couple getting married, not real close though. My husband worked with the guy before we moved-his bride to be and I were pregnant at the same time so we hung off and on the last couple years. My mom says that anytime you're invited to a wedding, the proper thing to do is to send a gift, even if you can't make it. I'm really tight for money, I'll see what I can do, but am I obligated? How offended would they be if I couldn't?

Answer 1

this is a tough one.  because even though you were invited okay if you went your monetary gift would cover the cost of the food your food or hopefully you went over to help with extra.  Now if you do not show and they invite someone in your place umm then it is still coveed.  As long asyou did it in a timely fashion.  I would say my guess if you have enough time then you would not have to buy the gift but if you RsVP and the wedding is next week.  Umm then you would be obligaed to still buy the gift your plate is paid for.  

Answer 2

A gift is not nessicary. You should however send a card! A card is often more appreciated then a gift. I forgot who didnt get us gifts, but I havent forgotten who didn't send cards!

Answer 3

I recently read where the proper thing to do, if you're invited but can't attend, is send a note explaining why you can't attend.  You are not obligated to buy/send a gift.  I don't think they should be offended at all.  

Answer 4

I don't think that the new couple would hold it against you if you couldnt and if they have a lot of guests the probably wouldn't even notice if you didnt however they did want to include you on their special day so at least a card or a phone call should be sent to them.

Answer 5

Typically, an invitation does warrant a gift and since you are friends with the couple, it might be awkward if you didn't.  Check out their registry and pick out something inexpensive or just send a gift card.

Answer 6

If you offend the couple by not giving a gift then you were only invited for a gift.  Gifts are not manditory even if you attend the wedding so they definitely arent manditory if you cant go.  If you are tight for money then send a card or something just saying congrats and sorry you cuoldnt make it.  thats all you need to do.  

Answer 7

my wedding etiquette book says that it is considered 'proper' to give a gift even if you cannot attend. so your mom is right. on the other hand, i don't think the bride and groom will be expecting one. when i got married, some people who didnt come sent me a gift, and others didn't. i wasn't expecting anyone to though.

if you want to send them something but you don't have alot of money, you could just send them a card.

Answer 8

Find out if they are registered.  Check out what they have online and if there is something that is reasonably priced.  If you can afford it then do it.  If not, I wouldn't worry about it.

These days everyone is on a tight budget and anyone that would be offeneded because you didn't buy them anything is kind of rude.

Don't stress on it!

Answer 9

Did they get you at a gift at your wedding? If so, I would say yes. It doesn't have to be anything extravagant but the thought is what counts.

Hmm well in that case I don't think you are obligated to but I do feel that people usually talk about who got them what and although its stupid, these kind of things usually put a little tension on the friendship. If these people are important to you and you want to remain friends in the future I would consider something small at least.