Good deeds and weddings

Question

I had a long talk over coffee with my future mother in law and my mother about wedding things. Sure my wedding isn't till 2010 but many venues are all ready taking 2010 or even 2011 bookings.

One of the things we talked about was the possibility of acknowledging a charity during my wedding. Quite literally I wouldn't be able to walk down through the church or dance and my wedding with out this organization. Both mother's agreed some acknowledgement has to take place.

We've been bouncing ideas around for a while and we've narrowed it down to three different options.

1) give out small bags of mints or other candies and attach a tag saying that a donation has been made in everyone's honour.

2) In stead of banging glasses to get the bride and groom to kiss attendants must put a coin in a dish. the money would go to the organization. My mom really likes this idea because my cousin did it at her's and it was a great success. not to mention hilarious when two uncles started trying to out do one another. My future mother in law also likes the idea.

3) Both mother's thought a bride auction would be a lot of fun. The DJ would auction off a dance with the bride. My father has already said he doesn't care the price he will top any bids. He's a little too excited at the prospect of entering into a bidding war with my uncle/ his brother.

The problem is everyone likes all three ideas. I asked both sides quite frankly if they thought anyone on our guest list would be offended by these ideas. My family loves quirky wedding things. We're from Atlantic Canada so things that might offend our neighbours to the south at a wedding, are expected here. No host bars for example are expected at a wedding rather then considered rude or taboo.

I'm not worried about upsetting or offending anyone. We're not that sort of family. Both families are the sort of people that believe we should give back when we're celebrating.

My Fiance and I have set up a monthly gift with the organization as part of our personal wedding celebrations. My mother and his mother thought it might be a good idea to include the wedding as well.

So my question is which of the three is best?

Answer 1

Hi! I'm from Sask.!

Best bet is to do some form of number 1. If it's a registered charity, they often have tent cards you put on each table to acknowledge the donation in lieu of giving favours.

Number two won't raise much money and number three is not a good idea at all.

Answer 2

Go with 1.

As much as this charity has done for you, your wedding is not the appropriate place to solicit donations for it.

Choice 1 is good, because YOU are doing the donating, and it also gets a mention on the tag.

Answer 3

Hi.  I am in total agreement with Fizzy Stuff.  Go with #1.  I can understand your enthusiasm for wanting to give back in a big way....but I really don't think that a wedding reception is a time to "fund raise" (and this is what you would be doing with #2 & #3) for an organization.

I think it would be much more classy to do the small bags of mints with the note attached.

Answer 4

I personally like 2 and 3. If you do a "Dollar Dance" during the reception (people pay money to dance with bride and groom separately) the money could also be for the charity and your DJ could hype this up prior to the Dollar Dance. Anytime you ad a charity to an event, especially a wedding, it adds classiness to your and shows integrity. Why not do more than one idea? I  would do 2 ideas. How about a mock wishing well for good wishes and use the money from the well for the charity?

Answer 5

Personally, I'd go with #2.  You're going to be exhausted from all the excitement of the day's events.  You don't need to add dancing all night with others when you should be spending this time with your new husband.

Answer 6

I'd say number 1, although given that you owe your mobility to ths charity you could probably get away with doing number 2 or 3 in addition.