HELP!!! Straighten my daughter out!!!!

Question

My Daughter is 11... and gets made fun on in school. She says they make fun of clothes... her hair...her face..she has slight acne...she has braces... her eye brows... She is a very beautiful girl... she kind of looks like a young Brooke Shields... I have told her why kids say the stuff they say... but she doesn't believe me... could you all out there tell me (and her) why kids say the things they do

Answer 1

because they are jealous of her

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Answer 2

So is this 11 year old a toddler or a preschooler?

Answer 3

Tell her to stick up for herself and that they are only making fun of her because they are jealous and insecure. Kids can be so mean, and these days kids take it the extreme. Just don't let her become suicidal or anything, they seem to take more drastic measures when they are depressed. Let her know that you are there for her if she ever needs to talk or vent her feelings.

Answer 4

a lot of kids say those things out of jealousy. she might be smarter than they are, or prettier, or maturing faster. Mostly jealously though. Not much she can do about it but act like it doesn't bother her, or come up with some witty things to say back to them.

Answer 5

SIMPLE - KIDS are MEAN!!

They say things when they are jealous of someone, how they look, how they dress, how they eat.

They do it to make themselves feel better because they can't take your looks or your clothes but they can take your self esteem.

Don't listen to them..They will stop when they realize it no longer hurts you.

As long as they know it hurts you they will keep on making fun of you.

By doing this and you letting them get away with it they make you look like a fool to thier friends and this way everyone thinks THEY are cool.. and you are well.. not cool

But if you ignore them and roll your eyes.. they become the target because kids will start to see you brush them off and they will be like.. why isn't she responding.. What does she know that we don't

SMILE always.. it makes them mad!

Good luck kid.. and remember.,. it eventually stops.. If it does hurt.. don't cry until you get home.. Never never let them see you cry....

Answer 6

It is so damaging to someone's self esteem to be treated this way, and unfortunately kids are going to remember their peers perception of them more than what their parents tell them. Kids do say this stuff out of jealousy and meanness and it can have a lasting effect on someone's self image.

It sounds like you're frustrated with your daughter's reactions to your support. It is important to continue to build up her self confidence, but please don't become frustrated with her for not believing you, because she is not going to believe you. She can probably sense this frustration, may not understand exactly where it is coming from, and it may make her less willing to come to you for further problems.

Actively listening to her may help prevent this, try to imagine what it must be like, tell her that you know their comments hurt her, maybe try some role playing where she is the bully and you respond appropriately. Ask her what she thinks would be a good way to handle these situations.  

Most schools have zero tolerance for bullying because of the horrible effects it has, so maybe you could go to the school superintendent or principal and ask them what can be done to make this stop.

Good luck to you and your lovely daughter.

Answer 7

I believe that kids say the things they say because they are insecure about themselves.  Tell your daughter every day how beautiful she is.  I was made fun of all through school.  I wear glasses so I got all the jokes about them.  I got fat jokes, too.  I hope your daughter will believe you when you tell her that kids are just mean spirited.  Good Luck.

Answer 8

I sympathize with your daughter. I was always "That kid" in school, the one who had the wild bushy hair, glasses, braces, acne, the whole nine yards.  

Know something? I cut my hair short, got contacts, lost the braces, started waxin' the old unibrow, and my skin cleared up as I got older.  

Your daughter, too, will go through this transformation with age.

It boils down to this. Kids are jerks.  I could go into the Psycho-babble about what MAKES them jerks, but it's easier just to tell you they are.  One person makes fun of your daughter, the kids see this person as 'one of the populars', and make fun of your daughter in order to put themselves a notch higher on the popularity pyramid while simultaniously taking her down a peg. Vicious? Very.

I found that Junior High was the worst.  High School was by far, MUCH better.  The kids finally hit that brain age where they realize what they're doing is cruel, and save their insults for their enemies, not your inoffensive daughter.  

I wish I could follow your daughter around at school and personally kick every one of those awful kids in the gut when they try to take her down. I'm sure you feel the same...  It will get better. I promise.  

Answer 9

Your daughter is being targeted because she is different than the other girls.  Most people are not fortunate enough to look like Brooke Shields.  I suggest look for a book or articles about women that just about everybody finds beautiful talking about their times in school.  I have read about Julia Roberts, and Angelina Jolie being targeted for their features that as adults everybody desires and wants to look like.

Answer 10

They do it for all kinds of reasons, none of which actually have anything to do with your daughter!

Listen, what you need to do is this.  Go to school and talk with her guidance counselor and teacher.  This is pretty devastating stuff and she needs to learn how to deal with it...plus there is a good chance that the teacher isn't aware it is happening to this degree and can put a quick stop to it in a non-confrontational way by simply doing a unit on self esteem/social skills/team building stuff.  You can request that they don't say a WORD to your daughter about your having talked with them if you think she'd be mortified.  But don't let it go, do go in and talk with them.  If they won't help or just say 'kids will be kids', pull her out of that school!  Her self esteem is to important.

Answer 11

Because kids are mean!

Sometimes, kids say mean things because they have problems at home, and they only know how to treat people like they have been treated at home...

other times, people want to take the attention away from themselves, so if they pick on other people, it makes everyone look at someone else instead of themselves....

Why don't you are your daughter have a special girls day? Why don't you go get manicures, go get your hair done, maybe purchase some face masks (like the biore self heating ones- they rock!) go out for a special lunch.....just you girls!  That will boost her self esteem some!

Answer 12

I have to say, I hated middle school.  I was in 3 middle schools in 6th grade, each one worse than the one before. Those kids are mean, shallow, and just want to make themselves look better by pointing out the negatives in others.  That being said, it only lasts for 3 years.  I feel for all girls going through middle school.  Even the cool girls are self conscious and terrified.  They figure the easiest way to keep eyes off of their awkwardness is to focus everyone's attention on someone else's qwarks.  

High school was better.  Not the best, but better.  You find your clique.  I personally was a band geek and very happy about it.  I still talk to my best friends met through band.

College was the best time!  I loved college.  You get to completely let loose and really find who you are.  You meet the friends you will have for the rest of your life.  I know it seems like forever away, but I promise, it is worth it.  

If you struggle with making friends now, try joining a group outside of the school.  You can check with your local parks and rec system.  They have a lot of really cool clubs, groups, etc.  Plus it is relatively cheap.